5 Potential Benefits of a Piercing Shriek

A short while ago I posted my opinion that my son’s happy noise is, sadly, one of the worst sounds I have ever heard in my life, and that it is causing me irreparable hearing loss. All of this is still true. And yet, as I was talking to a neighbor of mine who has […]

An Innocent Conversation Taken Out of Context

It all started with another one of Edward’s scams. We were at the grocery store, and there was a machine that dispensed toys for the paltry price of two quarters. I did not have two quarters, and Edward and I were having words about it. Things were especially bad because there was another little boy […]

Shut the Howl Up

They grit their teeth and bear it for the first few seconds, like most people, but when it doesn’t stop they finally realize they have to say something. Aren’t they in charge after all? “Edward! Please stop making that noise!” Their pleas fall on deaf ears. At least I assume all the ears in the […]

100 Reasons I Am a Terrible Parent

15 minutes after they had all left for school I got the text from my wife. We had forgotten his project. Not forgotten it at home. We had completely forgotten to do it at all. Despite the constant reminders, the e-mails, the notes home, the newsletters, and the personal reminder from the teacher the day […]

Why I Would Not Attend My Child’s Same-Sex Wedding

Marriage is a funny word. It means one thing to the church, and another thing to the state. It can mean vastly different things, even to different sets of people who are themselves married. Quite literally it means joining two things together, but the debate continues to rage on as to what restrictions ought to […]

Grade Schoolers Assemble!

“No, I’m not excited about it; it’s stupid,” she said as she unpacked her backpack. This was a fair point. As a veteran of many, many school-wide assemblies I can say with some certainty that the likelihood of it being very boring was quite high. The flyer the school had sent home about it, however, […]

The Age-Old Harry Potter Timeline Question

Since the dawn of recorded history, parents have been asking the same questions over and over again. No matter how many books are written or advices given, it seems that there can never be a true answer to these queries that will have parents awake in bed until the wee hours of the morning. “What […]

The 5 Stages of Your Kid Refusing to Go to School

STAGE 1: DENIAL Ummmm, no you did not just say to your mother that you are not going to school. No. That did not happen. Just admit that it never happened and we’re good. We can all go about our days like normal people who are not about to have a battle. No battles today, okay? […]

I Am a Special Needs Parent

I am not a special needs parent. That sounds ridiculous. Who says that? Who would ever want to be that? Doesn’t everyone’s child have their own special needs anyway? I mean mostly they are the same, but they’re all different too. And tons of kids have worse problems than mine! I just want my child […]