A Tale of Two Strangers (Judging My Children)

It was the best of impressions; it was the worst of impressions.  Within a span of only a few hours, my children had made their marks on two total strangers, each of whom judged them correctly, and in completely opposite directions.  Although the one guy didn’t have to be such a jerk about it. We […]

The Top Twelve Reasons To Hit Your Sister

12) You didn’t hit your sister.  Why would I even accuse you of such a thing?  She is crying for some unrelated reason. 11) She hit you first. 10) You were jealous of something she was holding or doing. 9) It was hitting time, and she was there. 8) You were under the impression that […]

Grampy & Sons Parenting Inc.

I am in Maine visiting my father.  My wife is not here.  HIS wife is not here.  For the first time ever in our entire lives, we are here together without women, trying to control small children.  And we are not well-suited to the task.  I mean, I am, obviously, but as a parenting team […]

I Had Such Plans…

I have almost completed week four of single parenting, and let me tell you, it was not what I was expecting.  This is due to the fact that I am a clueless idiot.  Or at least I was.  Now I have a clue.  In fact, I’ve been accumulating clues for a month now.  Single parenting […]

A Day With No Time-Outs

It suddenly became clear to me that I was getting negative and angry.  Over time, after one thousand insolences, one thousand disobediences, one thousand hits, kicks, pinches, and smacks, and one thousand maniacal laughs, my tolerance level had dropped to absolute zero, and the greater parts of everyone’s days were spent in tantrums, screaming fits, […]

Tenor Single Dad

It is, as my mother-in-law likes to say any time we have parenting difficulties, payback.  For years I spent a large amount of my time on the road, at auditions, rehearsals, voice lessons, shows, and who the heck knows what else.  When my first child was born I was in graduate school, and the plan […]

Parenting is Not a Job

There is a viral video making the rounds this week, in which a company put out a fake job listing and then interviewed some poor suckers who, you know, actually need work, and then told them they would have to work 24-7 with no breaks, no pay, no vacations, etc.  And then, at the end, […]

No Voice For the Oppressed: The Oakledge Park Easter Egg Hunt

It is a little known fact that in The United States of America, 1% of the kids are in possession of 99% of the eggs.  I think we can all agree that this is not a fair distribution of wealth.  Just because you hunt a little harder for your eggs, doesn’t explain why some kids […]

Yes Officer, That’s My Son

Time to padlock the front door!  Some of you may recall that a year or so ago we had a slight problem with small children escaping through the front door at very inconvenient times.  We solved this issue with a lock installed on the inside of the door juuuuuust high enough so that Edward could […]

Phew! He’s NOT a Psychopath!

My son is, for a few more days anyway, three years old.  Therefore it will not surprise you when I tell you that there are times when I wonder whether or not we are raising some sort of inhuman demon, either completely oblivious to the pain that he causes others, or worse, enjoying it.  “Is […]