Eat ALL the Oreos!

My three-year-old gets up before I do.  Normally not much before I do, since Edward often starts his day by kicking me in the sleeping face, but certainly at least a few seconds before I do.  But actually, those face kicking days are safer and more desirable than those days on which he gets up […]

I Need a Disguise

Parents, I think you know where I am coming from here.  Whether it is the babysitter, a teacher, or even grandparents and other relatives, kids seem to behave themselves far better for other people than they do for you.  We get all worked up trying to apologize in advance to whoever is going to be […]

Diary of Bad Parental Decisions, Entry #1723: Hosed Down With Gasoline

Sometimes I make good decisions.  Other times I make what I think are good decisions at the time, but they don’t turn out well in the end.  And then sometimes I just do stupid, stupid things.  Yesterday was one of those times. Edward, my three year old, is very interested in cars.  Lately he has […]

Go Sit in That Chair! Right Now!

I honestly don’t know what my children have to complain about.  As far as I am concerned, they have it pretty good.  In fact, young Tenor Dad would likely be quite jealous of his future children.  For instance this weekend, when the temperatures were approaching equatorial proportions, we took our two lovely offspring to the […]

The Last Wipe

It had to happen eventually.  My youngest stopped using diapers several weeks ago, and so there has been no need to buy any more baby wipes.  We still had them, of course, scattered around the house in various locations.  One never knows when one might need a wipe.  They are great for removing make-up, wiping […]

To Praise, or to Punish?

Sometimes, the hardest thing about being a parent is having to make the on-the-spot decision as to whether or not you are going to thank you child for a well-intentioned gesture, or scream at them for blatantly disregarding rules and safety, and thus taking the risk that they will never try to do anything helpful […]

Apology to My Neighbors

Dearest Neighbors, I am very sorry for the incident of yesterday afternoon.  By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late to stop it.  I was carrying a large basket of laundry across the courtyard to the laundry room, and I swear Edward was right behind me for most of the way.  […]

Talk Like a Man

Have you ever noticed that when you spend a large amount of time with someone, you start to pick up their mannerisms and commonly used phrases?  It could be someone you are dating, a spouse or a best friend, or, most horrifically of all, a young child who has not yet fully mastered the English […]

Why Are There Crumbs On Me?

Why are there crumbs on me?I didn’t put them there…Graham cracker crumbs you see,On me and in my hair…I’m pretty sureThat the person who did itIs there on the floor.We’ll chat in a minuteAbout where he gotAll the crackers from anyway.Who took them out?They’ve been up high for many days. How was he able…Oh, look […]

A Tale of Two Elmo Balloons

We took the family to see Sesame Street Live again yesterday.  This was our second time, and Ruby’s best friend from school came with us.  This worked out very well, except that this friend had brought money with her for a souvenir.  That meant that we had to shell out money for stuff for our […]