“There’s two kinds of people in this world,” says Uma Thurman’s character in Pulp Fiction, ” Elvis people and Beatles people. Now Beatles people can like Elvis. And Elvis people can like the Beatles. But nobody likes them both equally. Somewhere you have to make a choice. And that choice tells me who you are.” […]
Category Archives: Music
How Donald Trump Tried to Ruin My Choir Rehearsal
It was tough last night, but I defeated Donald Trump. I apologize for even writing this, because he certainly doesn’t need any more attention or articles written about him, but the story must be told. I will keep it brief and then you can devote your time to reading about people who ought to be read […]
A Musician’s Worst Nightmare
Have you seen those videos online, where some sneaky orchestra decides to play a prank on one of their soloists or conductors by playing the wrong piece, and then the subject of the prank is so awesome that they just play the wrong piece instead too? That is pretty amazing. But where are the videos […]
One Sentence Summaries of the 15 Most Performed Operas in the World
La traviata – A young man’s family tries to keep him from marrying a dying prostitute. Carmen – An angry mama’s boy takes revenge on his ex-girlfriend, a street magician working for big tobacco. La bohème – A bunch of lazy freeloaders complain about things until they die. Tosca – Local police track down a […]
The Worst Grammar and Spelling Mistakes You Can Think Of
Well, Christmas is nearly upon us, which means it is time for me to provide you with another helpful, holiday-themed video that will improve your life immeasurably. Thanks to me you all now know the difference between a peninsula, and island, and an isthmus. You can properly conjugate the verb “to lie” (or is it […]
A Singer’s Guide to Fake Russian
As a professional singer, you are called to sing in many languages, including some in which you are not fluent. This can be a challenge at first, until you realize that most languages are basically the same and English is the connecting thread for almost all of them. The English language is a living, evolving portmanteau […]
The 58th Annual Grammy Nominees for Best Children’s Album
Hey everyone! In case you didn’t notice, the Grammy nominations were announced this week! This is very exciting, unless you were not nominated, in which case this sucks. I was not nominated. But it’s ok! I am not bitter! It could be because I did not release any albums this past year! I will blame […]
Infamous Gigs: “Every Christmas Gig Ever” Edition
Ah, Christmas! The time of joy and love. The season of hope and peace. And, for musicians, the season of endless gigs. It is no secret that everyone hates music that was not created by some sort of computerized machine, which is why it is so hard for non-robotic musicians to make a living. But […]
Why Don’t Radio Stations Play Thanksgiving Music? – The Ultimate Thanksgiving Playlist
Well, it happened. Our local radio station has switched to Christmas music. On Friday at 4 pm, to kick off the holiday season, they replaced Adele with Jingle Bells and never looked back. “But it’s not even Thanksgiving!” protested my daughter, in what was the first of what I’m sure will be many lifelong complaints. […]
Curing Epilepsy With Mozart
You know, at this point we’ll try anything. We are currently on medication number seven. We have reduced screen time. We have monitored activity levels and body stress. We are working towards cutting all sugar out of our diets (except for when, I assume, I will sneak out in the middle of the night and […]