An Innocent Conversation Taken Out of Context

It all started with another one of Edward’s scams. We were at the grocery store, and there was a machine that dispensed toys for the paltry price of two quarters. I did not have two quarters, and Edward and I were having words about it. Things were especially bad because there was another little boy […]

Tenor Dad’s Workout Journal – Week 1

Wednesday 10:15 AM – Well, it’s done. I published it on my blog. I am going to work out for at least 30 minutes a day for all of Lent. If I don’t do it, then everyone will know. I mean, I could lie about it. These people don’t know if anything I say is […]

Shut the Howl Up

They grit their teeth and bear it for the first few seconds, like most people, but when it doesn’t stop they finally realize they have to say something. Aren’t they in charge after all? “Edward! Please stop making that noise!” Their pleas fall on deaf ears. At least I assume all the ears in the […]

Twelve Adventures: #2 – Lake Placid Olympic Sports Complex

When 2015 rolled into 2016 almost 40 days ago, my family made the decision that this was going to be the year for adventuring. We have committed to having 12 epic adventures, which boils down to one a month. Now, we could skip one month and double up on another, but that can get dangerous. […]

100 Reasons I Am a Terrible Parent

15 minutes after they had all left for school I got the text from my wife. We had forgotten his project. Not forgotten it at home. We had completely forgotten to do it at all. Despite the constant reminders, the e-mails, the notes home, the newsletters, and the personal reminder from the teacher the day […]

The Color of Han Solo’s Light Saber

I was alone inside, vacuuming the stairs, when I heard the front door fly open and slam against the wall. Ah. My son was coming inside. He thumped up the stairs very quickly and ran past me, his boots still on and dropping dirt and sticks onto my freshly cleaned carpet, out of sight and […]

Roots and Wings; Boots and Swings

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other wings.” So said the inspirational poster hung somewhere in my childhood, the reading of which seemed so profound to me at the time, and the truth of which is clear to me only now. Suddenly, […]

The Lies We Tell Our Children About Adulthood

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Being a grown-up was supposed to be awesome! All of that freedom and power and control. We were going to get to do whatever we wanted! But unfortunately, with great power, comes great responsibility. Having the freedom to make our own decisions comes with the knowledge that our […]

Well If It Was Your Favorite Shirt, Maybe You Shouldn’t Have Eaten It

The temperature in the room drops as the air is sucked right out of it. Evil Dictator Daddy has just arrived, ready to hand down another despicable and unfair proclamation that will ruin countless lives forever. His face a twisted mask of hatred, he speaks the words that you have dreaded hearing, but knew, deep […]

Why I Would Not Attend My Child’s Same-Sex Wedding

Marriage is a funny word. It means one thing to the church, and another thing to the state. It can mean vastly different things, even to different sets of people who are themselves married. Quite literally it means joining two things together, but the debate continues to rage on as to what restrictions ought to […]