5 Things Not To Do Before Bed

There is really only one thing I have to do before bed, and that is take the dog out. My wife takes Anna out in the morning, and I take her out at night. Daytime outings are done by whomever is home, so usually Ruby if we can get her to do it. But at night, […]

It’s Not a Mess, It’s A Nest

Do you see that pile of laundry on the floor? Please do not disturb it. I need it in order to sleep. It’s not actually a mess, despite being quite messy in appearance. Sure, there are some clothes in there, a shoe maybe, and other bedrooms objects that have been uncarefully gathered into the pile, […]

Your Presents Are Hidden Right There. Don’t Look.

I am, at my core, a rule follower. Yes, I like to bend them, twist them, squeak around them, and change them if I can, but in my heart of hearts I like rules. My daughter is the same way. Once there is a rule, that is it. She follows it, and expects everyone else […]

Bear’s Tips Four Coming Out of Hibernation

Hello. This is Bear. Now it is spring. That means that all bears and peoples half to wake up and start doing things again. I like doing things. Sleeping is a thing. I like sleeping. I don’t rally hibernate, because I am not that kind of bear, but if you hibernate, I will give you […]

The Mystery of Who Peed on Me

It was a dark and stormy night. 6:30 AM. The sky was dark and my mood was stormy. I was asleep. Suddenly, I was awoken by the sounds of gibberish. “Bwaaaa naaa, bee boop bwaaaa!” I blinked my eyes open slowly. Very slowly. My head was taking a pounding harder than a colt in Massachusetts. […]

An Evil Cliché Comes True

Every morning for the past infinity days, we have had to drag my daughter out of bed and rush her crying off to school because, like her father, she is a night owl.  She stays up in her bed reading until who-knows-when, and mornings are not her time to shine.  I empathize.  If I could […]

Good Night. I Love You. I Don’t Want To See You Again.

BAM! I hear the bedroom door slam open and I pause the Netflix, stomping over to the stairs to see who is going to appear at the top of them.  As I suspected, it is my three-year-old. “Edward.”  I don’t need to say anything else. “Daddy, I don’t wanna sleep in your bed, I wanna […]

Bad Parenting Confession

I have a confession to make.  My three year old still drinks out of a baby bottle.  Every night.  And every morning.  And whenever else I need him to be quiet.  I know.  I KNOW!  It’s bad for his teeth.  It’s bad overall.  There is nothing in any literature anywhere expressing the point of view […]

The Worst Thing About Being a Parent

When you decide to become a parent (or have it sprung upon you), you know in advance that there are going to be ups and downs.  Pluses and minuses, if you will.  No, there can be no preparation for it, but at least you have some idea of what to expect, right?  I imagine that […]

Things I Have Learned About Monsters

As if I needed any more problems with getting my son to sleep, now he is scared of monsters.  Now, as far as I knew, the only monsters that Edward was aware of are the kind that eat cookies and/or hug people a lot, but apparently there is a lot that he knows, and I […]