“Ok, kids!” we said on Saturday morning. “Who wants to go test drive some new cars?!”
This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to either of our children. This made them turn off the TV and put their coats and boots on in a timely fashion. This made them jump up and down and stand at the door with their winter gear on, looking hopeful and expectant. This made us wish we had not said this two hours before the dealerships opened.
Two hours later we were all in a potential new vehicle, and it was amazing. Also, a clarification, lest you think we are idiots. This was not a new car. This was last year’s model, still under full warranty. I am aware that cars depreciate like crazy in their first year. So unless you just have to have the red one, it is insane to buy an actual new car.
“I have to have a red one!” shouted my children.
“Well, they don’t have any red ones today,” we explained, as we test drove our grey vehicle around town.
“Mommy! Daddy! There are CUPHOLDERS back here!”
“Ok, but we are just test driving this car, okay? There are other cars we want to look at, and we’re not buying anything today.”
“THIS IS THE BEST CAR EVER AND I LOVE IT!”
We drove a couple of cars at a couple of different places, and eventually we all decided on one that we liked, although it was the most expensive of the choices. It was time to go negotiate. So we all walked over to our regular old car and mentally prepared to play hardball.
“I don’t want to go in that car!” wailed my three-year-old. “I want to go in the new car! I hate the old car!”
“Ummm, we don’t have a new car yet,” I tried to explain. “We have to go drive to the car place again and talk to them about buying it.”
“But I want to drive the NEW car to the car place!”
“But the new car is not here. And we haven’t bought it yet. We only have one car. The one right here. So get in.”
“No! New car!”
We managed to get everyone into what had suddenly become the worst car on the planet and we pulled into the dealership, where just the sight of the other cars was enough to work everyone into a frenzy.
“YAYAYAYAY! I love the new car! We’re getting a new car!”
“Now listen you two, we are not definitely buying a new car today. Let Mama and I do the talking, and you just be quiet and listen and we’ll see if we can convince them that we don’t love the car, so they will lower the price. Okay?”
So we walked into the dealership, where the friendly car folk came over to greet us and welcome us back.
“Hi guys! Good to see you again. What can I help you with? Have you made any decisions?”
“We’re getting a new car! Yaaaaaaay!”
I think we’re getting a new car.