I Need an Impossible Job

So this blogging thing is not as lucrative as I was led to believe.  Opera singing is good work if you can get it, but the gigs, while certainly picking up, are still a little far apart for my tastes.  So that means for most of my time I am watching television, surfing the internet, and moaning about how much more money I wish I had.  The obvious solution here is to get a job, but my job requirements are so bizarre that I don’t know if I will ever find one.

1) Only Nights and Weekends
This is not so bizarre in and of itself, but it does put me in competition with all/most students, as well as anyone who is looking for a second or third job.  I wish I could work during the day, but I am home watching two kids during the day, and in order to actually make money after paying for childcare and time and gas and all of that, the job would have to pay upwards of $15/hour, and I don’t know a lot of part time jobs that do that.

2) Part Time
Oh yeah, it has to be part time too.  I cannot work 40 hours a week in the evenings and weekends, plus watch kids all day, plus learn music, plus write blogs and watch too much television.  So it has to be a part time job.

3) Super Flexible
Sometimes I get a call for an audition with only a day or two notice, but even when I have a week or two or three to plan, I have to be able to say “Yeah, I know I usually work Wednesdays, but I have to go to New York next Wednesday” and have it be all right.  Generally when you have a part time job that is nights and weekends, you are fairly beholden to a regular schedule, at least in my experience.  And that weekly flexibility isn’t even the half of it!

4) Large Amounts of Time Off
I need this job to be okay with me leaving for weeks at a time at various points throughout the year to sing operas.  I would love to find a job today, but I will be in Florida from April 15-May 15, and then be singing with Middlebury Opera from May 22-June 12.  What job am I going to find that lets me come and go as I please?

So there it is, my impossible job description.  I think my perfect job would be “Extra Shift Covering Guy,” where I could learn the job, and then cover shifts for people who needed to switch around days and/or go on vacation, but I have looked everywhere, and have not seen any jobs posted for Extra Shift Covering Guys.  So I turn to you, dear readers.  Anyone have any ideas as to how I can turn my months of free time between gigs into lucrative business opportunities?  I just feel like I should be contributing something financially to my family.  Also, I would kind of like to buy a Playstation 3.  I await your collective knowledge!

Posted in Job, Opera, Rant, Stay at Home Dad.


  1. the best solution is a restaurant job…its good money fast, and they are usually very understanding when you have to leave to sing..i did it for years, in new orleans
    have you applied with “kelly temp.”
    they also are flexible…

  2. Freelance web design. Freelance writing generally. Voice teaching. Perhaps a real estate office or Dr.’s office where the owner is musician friendly.

  3. This is the job that I want, but being magnanimous, I will offer it to you. If they hire you, of course.
    Purina is looking for a cat correspondent to travel around and write stories of cats and their owners. 50K a year. I kid you not.
    You would be wonderful. Go to the Purina website for more info.
    If you get the job, well,then you’ll owe me!
    xoxo Patricia

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