Kids Will Sleep Anywhere

Edward was very upset yesterday morning.  It seemed that we were out of Costco chocolate chip cookies, and he was not going to stand for it.  Other cookies were far too small for eating, so we decided to make the trek up to the land of giant food for a restock.  Of course we had been playing in the snow all morning, so we were exhausted and I half expected him to fall asleep in the car on the way over.

He did not fall asleep in the car.  He got out, climbed into my arms (very unusual – generally he is smacking me and telling me that he is going to walk himself), and then let me put him into the cart (also unusual – see previous aside re: smacking).  But at some point during the thirty feet between the carts and the door, he did fall asleep, and he stayed asleep in the cart for the rest of our visit.

This was probably for the best, because in some bizarre twist of irony, Costco was out of chocolate chip cookies, for the first time in the fifteen years since I have had a membership.  Sleeping two year old meant no tantrum and thus happy daddy.  I wandered around the store in peace, feeling vaguely unsettled, as if I was unable to deal with the lack of item grabbing, whining for toys, and yelling at random old ladies.  Despite this disturbance in the force, I managed to do my shopping and, after I had everything I might possibly need in my cart, it was time for lunch.

Of course Edward was sleeping, so I didn’t have to buy him any lunch.  Sitting down with my own food at a mostly clean table, I heard a woman behind me say, “That’s so cute.  I was just telling my husband, kids will sleep anywhere.”

Now, I had to tell her that this was not true of my child.  He does not sleep anywhere!  Certainly not in his bed, and not in shopping carts, or Costcos, or any other unusual places.  The one spot he is certain to fall asleep in is the car, but I don’t find that so unusual.  Adults fall asleep in the car too.  So I explained this to the woman as best as I could.  She smiled a smile as if to say, “Stop talking you weirdo, I was just making polite conversation,” and told me to enjoy it while I could then.

After she left, I was met with a second woman, saying the same thing to me.  “Awwww, this just goes to show that kids can sleep anywhere!”  Having learned my lesson from my previous encounter, I mostly just agreed with her.

“Yeah, he doesn’t usually sleep places, so I am enjoying it while I can!”  Ah, good, a much more socially acceptable response.  She smiled and went away, satisfied with our interaction.  By the time the third lady approached me and said it, I just smiled and said “They sure can!”  I might be dumb, but I’m not stupid.

I don’t know how long I sat at Costco.  One thing was certain; I was not waking him up.  So I played on my phone and ate my food and let Edward have his nap.  When he finally did wake up, I let him eat the rest of my pizza and we went home, well rested and fed.  And maybe it wasn’t a fluke.  Maybe kids really will sleep anywhere.  Maybe we have found our new favorite napping spot.  Or maybe Costco is just exhausting.  I guess only time will tell, but it’s worth a try!

Posted in Costco, Edward, Napping, Parenting.

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