Life’s a Beach – TDORK at Tybee Island

Here we are on day 3 of our series, “Tenor Dad: On the Road with Kids.”  Let us recap.
Day 1: Forgot to go anywhere – Distance achieved: 0 miles
Day 2: Spent $60 on hats at Walt Disney World – Distance achieved: 93 miles
Day 3: Well, this is Day 3, and I haven’t told you about it yet.  Be patient!

We woke up after an exciting day of standing in lines and eating burgers of $2 quality and $10 price, ready to start heading north in earnest.  But first, our hotel claimed to have the world’s longest python water slide, so we were going to have to check it out.  I’m not exactly sure what a “python slide” is, or if it was really the world’s biggest, but it certainly was a slide, and there certainly was a giant plaster python head above it, and I certainly went down it in excess of eight times.  Have I been on longer water slides?  Yes.  Did those water slides have pythons on them?  No.  So I cannot prove or disprove the stated claim that this was the world’s largest.  Let me just tell you, that it was free, and at 8:30 am, there was no line, making it far more fun than either the flying Dumbos or the spinning Teacups.

After packing up and checking out, we got in the car and headed north.  Our goal was to make it Georgia and find a beach somewhere to hang out on.  One would think that after spending all morning inside a 79 foot python, we would be tired of the water, but this was not the case, so we drove and drove and drove until we came to a Taco Bell, which Simone hates but Ruby loves, and had lunch.  I think this was somewhere around Jacksonville.  After more driving, it was getting to dinner time, so we checked into a motel and set off in search of the beach.

Our brilliant plan was to get some food and then have a picnic on the beach.  This was sort of a last minute plan, but what we lacked in planning, we more than made up for in lack of execution.  We found a place called Tybee Island, just east of Savannah, and I have to say that it was beautiful.  It made me want to come back for a week sometime so I could explore and just lie on the beach.  But we did not have a week, we had one evening, and by golly we were going to make the most of it.  Picnic!

Here are the things that one might require for a picnic on the beach: A blanket, an umbrella, a picnic basket, silverware, food, drinks, napkins, sunglasses, sunscreen, hats, bug spray, and possibly more things that I cannot currently think of.

Here is what we brought to our picnic on the beach: Food.

And by food, I mean that we stopped at Subway on the way to the beach and picked up some subs and brought them with us.  Sadly, as we soon discovered, the beach was somehow inexplicably covered with sand.  And for some reason, the wind was blowing the sand in every direction, but mostly in two directions, which was into our sandwiches, and up our shorts.  If any requires proof that God has a sense of humor, look no further than the hilariously ironic SANDwiches that we ate, made up of about 50% sand.

It was around this time that Ruby decided to go into the water, as there appeared to be giant waves calling to her and asking her if she would like to be sucked out to sea.  As the good parent that I am, I decided to follow her into the water, for safety reasons.  I also, at this time, decided to empty out my pockets so as not to accidentally destroy my phone and wallet when I inevitably fell into the ocean.  I tell you this fact because it will become important at some point in the next paragraph.  Anyway, Ruby and I had a great time splashing around in the waves, and Simone played with Edward in the sand until all four of us were sufficiently covered with dirt and could return home.

Exhausted, we drove back to the motel as the sun set over the beach, happy that we had a spent a fun day that had not cost us anything.  Our clothes, even though we took most of them off before going into the water, were a sandy, soggy mess in the trunk of the car, and we could not wait to get back to the motel and shower off and go to bed.  But when we arrived, it seemed that one key item had somehow not made it back from the beach and the pocket transfer.  That key item was, of course, the key to our motel room.  Yes, I had lost it back on the beach somewhere, and now was standing in just my bathing suit and 23 pounds of sand outside of a motel room door with my family telling me to hurry up and unlock it.  So sad, half-naked me trudged back over to the office and pitifully asked the big dude smoking outside if he could give me another key.  I don’t think he wanted to, but I also don’t think he wanted me hanging around any longer than I had to, so he made me another key card and back I went, the conquering hero, key in hand.

We managed to drive 291 miles, adding to the 93 from the day before, and the 0 from the day before that, giving us a three day total of 384 miles, out of the 1500 miles that are between St. Pete and our house in Vermont.  Obviously we have to drive more, so tomorrow will be a big push.  Tune in for more exciting adventures, as we take on the Carolinas, and more!  TDORK out!

Posted in Beach, Georgia, TDORK, Tybee Island.

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