There once was a wealthy old dude
Whose demise got his family unglued.
Not because he was dead,
No, they all mourned instead
For his assets. Now, isn’t that rude?
There once was a lecherous heel,
A Duke, who made all the girls squeal.
But it was the last straw
When he bedded Gilda,
So her dad hired Sparafucil.
There once was a guy from the Navy,
Who married a Japanese lady.
Wait, lady? I mean,
Come on dude, she’s fifteen!
This whole thing just seems kind of shady…
There once was a magical flute.
For safety, just give it a toot.
I know it sounds lame,
But protection from flames
Is worth it. So hurry up! Do it!
There once was a chorus of gypsies,
Who sang while they worked, but then, whoopsie!
I’m starting to think
They’ve had too much to drink…
Were those anvils hammered, or just tipsy?
There once was a slutty old man,
Who had slept with thousands ‘cross the land.
His list couldn’t be topped.
Although even he stopped
At fifteen year old girls from Japan.
Check out the other opera limericks here.