Anna turned 1 on Friday, and the kids demanded that we throw her a birthday party. She needed presents, and bacon for breakfast, and to wear the birthday hat, and to eat cake. As a member of the family, she was entitled to all of the birthday accoutrements that one would normally reserve for humans. At least this is what my children told me.
She didn’t quite get the bacon for breakfast, although we did get her a package of Beggin’ Strips, which she was unable to tell from real bacon, at least according to the package. I don’t know how fooled she really was, but she was happy to gobble them up. She also was not a huge fan of the birthday hat, but oh well. At least she got it on long enough for a picture.
Her present was a fox dog toy with two (TWO!) squeakers inside of it, which she has been enjoying immensely, and this left only the cake. Now, I was not going to feed the dog an actual cake. She can’t eat chocolate anyway, because she is a dog, and even if the cake did not include chocolate, just no. If she was going to eat a birthday cake, it was going to have to be a dog birthday cake.
Luckily I am an excellent dog chef. I got a large can of dog food and squlorched it out into a bowl where it stood upright, retaining its canny shape. I chopped and mooshed it down into a vaguely cake-like shape, and I “frosted” it with slices of cheese. Then, because she was turning one, I put one “candle” down into it, which was really a baby carrot. When it was done, it looked like the most disgusting thing I had ever created. Anna was going to love it. In other news, it smelled very bad.
I put it in the fridge until it was time for the party, where it had time to make all of the people food smell like gross dogfood cake, and then we made sure not to give Anna her dinner, so she would be good and hungry for her cake. It worked. We all walked outside into the courtyard singing happy birthday to the dog, carrying her cake and present with us, and gathering as many neighbors as we could. Then I set her cake down in front of her, and Anna was finally able to go to town on it.
She ate the cheese frosting first. That dog sure loves cheese. She also loves carrots, although apparently carrots rank lower on the totem pole than canned dog food, because she went after that next, eating her way around the carrot. I get it. It’s like sticking a piece of cauliflower into the middle of plate of bacon. I think we all know what the last item on the plate is going to be.
She didn’t quite finish her cake that day, as it was easily 5-10 times her normal amount of dinner, but she made a good showing of it. She loved her present, and we played fetch and tug with her until the sun went down and I had to leave for a rehearsal. I think she had a good birthday. I don’t know for sure because I don’t speak dog language, but Anna seemed a happy puppy. She had a cake, dog bacon, the birthday hat, and two presents, because one of our neighbors (Swash’s mom) made her an awesome chew toy! And I managed to keep Edward from eating any of her cake, so that was another win. Because man, he really, really wanted to try it.