How to Cram Two Children and a Large Tree into a Mazda 5

“It’ll fit,” I said, sizing up the tree out in the field. “It’s the perfect size.” My wife was the one who’d found it, using her spacial awareness superpowers to sniff out the perfectly sized and shaped tree for our living room. She wasn’t in costume, but her superpowers still worked. Ruby agreed that this […]

I Was a Door-To-Door Rollerskating Christmas Tree Salesman

I was in college.  I needed money.  Because college.  And so I would pretty much do anything for it.  I made pizzas until 3 am.  I filed applications in the admissions office.  I sang concerts and solos and hymns and valentine-o-grams.  And once, for a few weeks in November and December, I was a door-to-door […]

Santa Didn’t Come!

Happy Advent everyone!  Or, as my son likes to call it, Christmas. He was fairly certain that Thanksgiving was also Christmas, although I tried to explain to his resistant, four-year-old mind that they were actually two separate holidays.  But he was on school vacation!  And there was snow!  How could it be anything other than […]

Do NOT Do Your Christmas Shopping Early

It sounds like a great idea.  Do your Christmas shopping early, so the costs are spread out over time, and you are not rushing around on Christmas Eve looking for last minute gifts.  It is like a beautiful package of common sense, wrapped up in a ribbon of duh.  And yet in practice, it is […]

Bear Does Christmas

When my wife and I woke up on Christmas morning, we were, umm, we were…  huh.  What is the word for when something is so incredibly cute that you just can’t stand it, and you are making the sad puppy dog face and saying “awwwww,” but in an extremely good way?  Anyway, there were some […]

A Life in Ornaments

As soon as my wife and I were married we decided on a few things.  The first was that we were going to travel the world together and have amazing adventures.  This kicked off immediately as we honeymooned in Mexico, Belize, and the Caymen Islands, thanks to a Carnival cruise.  The second was that we […]

The Year We Stole Our Christmas Tree

To be fair, we didn’t mean to steal our Christmas tree.  It wasn’t like we went out with the intention of celebrating the joyous season of giving and love by committing acts of theft and villainy, but if you have ever tried to do anything with my mother, you know that things generally do not […]