Locked My Keys In My Car

The first time I ever locked my keys in my car, the car was running and I was in a mall parking lot.  That was not a good day.  As I was in college, and had no AAA, no roadside assistance, no OnStar, and no car/life experience, I freaked out a little.  Thankfully, mall security eventually came and got the door open for me and I didn’t waste too much gas as my car sat and idled for two hours.

I paid very close attention after that to the location of my keys, but even all my diligence could not stop it from happening again.  Just a short 5 or 6 years later, I was doing a Christmas gig with my super-awesome-wish-they-still-existed a cappella group Passing Notes.  It was a private party at a church, and we arrived ready to sing and eat and have a good time.  Except I locked my keys in the car.

This time I did have Geico roadside assistance, and they came right over to unlock the door for me.  And by “right over” I mean 3 hours later.  Except they told me it would be within an hour and I had to be waiting by the vehicle.  So while my friends and vocal bandmates ate, drank, and made merry, I sat out in the cold waiting for the stupid tow truck guy.  I went inside to sing the gig (what else could I do?) and I did get a plate of food, but for the most part, I sat outside in the cold and waited for someone to come and retrieve my keys.

Yesterday, it happened again.  Monday night we had come home from Ruby’s school concert (which was very cute, by the way, and if I thought you were interested in watching twenty minutes of 4 and 5 year olds singing Christmas songs, I would totally post the videos), but in separate cars because Simone had come right from work.  But we were out of milk, so someone had to go out and get it, and it was late and the kids needed to get right into bed, especially Edward, and in all the confusion, I took the kids in to bed, and Simone closed up my car and drove hers out to get milk.  And I had left my keys in the ignition.

Of course I didn’t notice this until the next morning, when I had the kids all bundled up, walking out the door to drive Ruby to school.  I got to the car, put my hand in my pocket, and pulled out a jingling ring of nothing.  Frantic, I ran into the house searching everywhere for my keys.  Could they have fallen out of my pocket?  Had Edward somehow gotten into my coat and flushed them down the toilet?  Would they even go down the toilet?

Finally, I thought to check the car, and there they were, mocking me and having a grand old time in the car, while the rest of us were locked out in the cold.  So I had to call my wife to come home from work and let me into the car with her key, and then she took Ruby to school while I shook my fist at the sky and thought angry thoughts.

Apparently I lock my keys in the car every 5 or 6 years, so I’m due for another round of frustration in 2017 or so.  I wonder if there is any way to prevent this.  Can I send a message to my future self, reminding him to stay vigilant about key placement?  Maybe I can set an alert on my phone that will go off January 1st, 2017, telling me to keep an eye on my stuff.  And would that even work, or would I still somehow forget anyway?  I guess I won’t know until I get there, but from now on, vigilance is key.