Our First Parent-Teacher Conference

Yesterday, Simone and I went in to meet with Ruby’s teacher for our very first parent-teacher conference.  This was kind of a big deal.  For Ruby it meant that she got to stay home and be sad that she was not at school (I predict this will change over the next decade or two), but for us parents, it was our first chance to really find out what was going on with our daughter, now that she was spending all of this time away from us.

Now, I have been to a parent-teacher conference before, but I was in 4th or 5th grade, and I wasn’t really supposed to be there.  My mother had gone to the conference, and since we lived literally across the street from the school, I was in charge of making dinner.  I was making hot dogs, and I knew that you had to boil them for 5 minutes, however I didn’t feel like getting the pot out, so I decided to microwave them for 5 minutes instead.  I don’t know if you have ever microwaved a hot dog for 5 minutes before, but after maybe 3 or 4 minutes, you will start to notice thick black smoke flowing out of the device, and I at once realized that I had probably burned the house down, so I did the only thing I could think of, which was to run across the street, race around the school until I found the room my mother and teacher were in (thank goodness for giant plate glass windows), and flail around wildly in the air until someone noticed me.  You will be happy to know that the house survived, although the hot dogs did not.

Well, anyway, this was going to be my first conference as a parent, and I was nervous.  I was 99% sure that Ruby was a model citizen, the smartest, funniest, most helpful (and tallest) person in her class, and that we were going to receive a glowing review.  But then there was always that thought that, well, maybe we were going to be horrified.  Perhaps she was a mean bully who never shared and called people nasty names.  Maybe she was an annoying tattletale with no friends who liked to boss people around.  What if she wasn’t picking up the concepts she was supposed to be mastering?!  What if, as soon as she leaves our house and my personal guidance, she completely falls apart as a human being!?

Now, that was only the 1% speaking there, and I was still 99% sure that she was fine, but in terms of resources, the 1% was taking up at least 50% of my brain, and nobody was occupying anything, so there was no meaningful change in my thought patterns.  Simone seemed excited and nervous as well, so we tried to think up good questions to ask ahead of time.

Since I couldn’t come up with any good questions, I resigned myself to coming across like a bumbling dorkwad in front of her teacher and tried in vain to at least think of something funny to say.  We walked in and sat down, ready to receive whatever information was coming our way.  The reports we get from Ruby are things like what she had for snack, and which story they heard that day, but now it was time for a better progress report.

And you know what?  She was fine of course.  Super smart, super happy, gets along well with everyone, reaches out to her classmates to either help them, or ask for help.  Totally well adjusted.  I knew it the whole time.