Thoughts From a Worried Father

He is stronger than I am. I am not strong at all, except that I have to be.

He is fragile, but somehow being delicate has brought him greater strength. Even today.

The news is not all good, and I don’t know if he understands. He is smart, but sometimes not understanding is the smarter move.

Hours pass and still we wait. He is more patient than I am, until he is not. I have no patience, but I am entertaining, until I am not. So we wait.

Things seem better, which is how they always seem until they seem worse. Things seem worse, which is how they always seem until they seem even worse better. I think I have hope. It’s hard to tell.

I am tired. He is also tired, but he has more energy than I do. I used to have that energy. I think he stole it. It’s okay, he can keep it; I don’t want it back.

I was going to be busy today, but now my schedule is clear. He is my schedule, and he is busy. I am glad not to be busy. I am still tired.

Now we play trains. Now we cut a stick with a knife. Now we fly through the air and make sounds to prove it. We prove the day. We prove ourselves. He sings loudly, and I save my voice. This time.

Tomorrow we will be tired. I will be tired. He will be tired. I hope he will be tired. He will not be tired. I will try not be tired, and I will not think. I will just be. Thinking, understanding, I’m too smart for that. I learned that from him. I wonder what he will teach me tomorrow…

Tomorrow…