Dearest Fans,
Please work harder. I appreciate the job you are doing, but at this point it is not enough. I know I shouldn’t have to ask so much of you, and again I apologize, but I am dying here. In a perfect world, this apartment would have central air and I wouldn’t need you at all, but sadly this is not the case.
As you know, I can’t even use window air conditioning units here because our windows crank open out rather than slide up and down, so I can’t offer you any assistance in that regard. No central air, no air conditioners, no giant block of ice sitting in the kitchen, just you, my loyal and devoted fans. And I’m not saying your blades are not spinning, but I would like to point out that the temperature in here is currently 82 and it is only 8:30 am. This does not bode well for the rest of the day.
This morning I did something that I have not done purposely in the last decade. I took a cold shower. It was wonderful. It cooled my body down for at least seven minutes, but now I am hot again and I need you all to blow harder. To help you out I did install a ceiling fan in the kitchen last night, so hopefully that will improve things. I wanted to install one in the living room as well, but the round plates that I thought were covering places to install lights and fans turned out to be sprinklers. I found this out the hard way after I had pried off the plates and am now unable to reattach them. The things I do for circulating air…
So look, I can see that you are blowing, but I just need more. I can’t stay in this house all day if it is going to be 90 in here, and I have laundry and other cleaning to do. I know you understand. So just fan away and know that you have my support. If it could be 68 in here I’d really appreciate it, although anything under 80 at this point would be great. Thanks in advance!
Love,
Tenor Dad