The sun was high as we approached the labyrinth, and we were hot. Out of our original crew of eight, only three of us remained, maps in hand and determination etched across our damp brows. I felt a swell of confidence in our chances, although time was quickly running out and my navigational skills had never been stellar. Luckily we had a new navigator on board, so I hung back like a good captain should and let my crew do their jobs. “I found the path!” shouted Ruby, clutching tightly onto the scrap of paper in her hand that had led her to the entrance. And with that, she was off. I was going to have to keep up. I braced myself for one final trek and then took a fateful step into the corn maze at Sam Mazza’s Farm Market, Bakery, and Greenhouse.
There were three sections to this maze and we had all completed the shorter first leg with another family, but now the younger children were tired and on the playground, leaving just me, Mac “Fearsome” James, and a newly minted 2nd grader to finish the much longer second leg, which included the remaining two sections.
The parrot at the bottom had been child’s play compared to the over two mile journey that lay ahead. Fearsome had to be at work at 1 pm, and it was already noon, so we had to work quickly. Glancing at the map it was clear that our first destination lay squarely in Mermaid’s Armpit, so, with navigator Ruby leading the way, we set off. At every intersection she would stop to consult the map, and I asked gently guiding questions that would help her to evaluate her options. She was giddy with power and self-confidence, and we arrived at Mermaid’s Armpit with no problems, punching our punch cards and looking for the next clue.
West Mermaid’s Hair was our second goal, which we found by cutting through “The Shells,” nearly getting trapped in North Bra Strap but ultimately prevailing. Imagine our dismay when, having punched out our second corn nugget in West Mermaid’s Hair, we realized that we were going to have to go all the way across the map to EAST Mermaid’s Hair for the third clue. These treasure burying fools were merciless. Luckily we made short work of the trip and so began our voyage into pirate territory.
North Bandana was our fourth stop of the day, and the people there were reclusive. We didn’t see any natives at all as we passed through row after row of empty alleys and deserted roads. We did manage to find the punch station, but now we had some decisions to make. We needed to get to Pirate’s Beard, but there were several different ways to get there. Ruby weighed each one carefully, passing over the more straightforward Eyepatch Passage in favor of the trickier, but shorter, Nasal Throughway. By this point we were tired, sweaty, and losing our bearings regularly, but after a few touch and go moments, we stumbled into the fifth station, ready for the home stretch.
The final leg of our journey meant a perilous slog, backtracking out of Pirate’s Beard, and heading deep into West Mermaid’s Hip. The specifics of what we encountered in these final days are too terrible for even a page such as this, but let me say at least that I cut my foot on a corn stalk, and it was really ouchy. And I needed a Band-Aid when we got home. WITH Neosporin on it. So, there’s that.
With our cards completed and all treasures unearthed, there was only one thing to do, which was to escape the treacherous labyrinth once and for all. Ruby was sure she knew the way, and so we took off running, some of us for our very lives, and Fearsome for his very job. As we looked down a long, seemingly endless corridor of corn, I asked Ruby is she was sure this was the way out. “If I’m reading this map correctly,” she said very seriously, “there should be a right turn at the end of this path.” And of course she was right. Shouting in triumph she exited the corn for the last time and ran jubilantly to her mother, who was waiting with Edward at the playground.
A victory like that demanded drinks and snacks, and as we reflected on the day, the treasures won and the blood lost, my daughter’s face glowed with pride. I realized then that I had trained a good crew, and this, of course, was the greatest treasure of all.