Do you know why I don’t like going to the fair? It’s not because it isn’t fun; it’s just not hundreds of dollars worth of fun. But somehow I managed to take the kids to the fair for 3-4 hours, ride rides, eat treats, and get out the gate for only $12, and I am going to tell you how I did it. Just don’t start calling me “Stingy Dad!”
To start with (and I know it is too late for you now), have your child participate in the summer reading program at the local library. This will give them a ribbon to wear that gets them free admission to the fair, and since my other child is under five, he got in free too. I did have to pay for myself though, which cost me $12.
So having spent twelve entire dollars and feeling it in my wallet, I decided to take the kids over to all the fun free stuff, by which I mean, obviously, pig racing. Kids love pigs, and everyone loves racing, so it was a perfect start-of-the-day activity, and it was totally free. After all of the pigs we were routing for lost horribly (don’t even get me started on that three-pork pile-up!), we headed over to see all of the other animals that were at the fair to compete.
Here is a fun tip for you: walk past all of the animals on your way in and head straight to Old McDonald’s Barn, because there they have an animal scavenger hunt, and if you go to all of the animal tents (which you were going to go to anyway, because they are free and cute), you get a ticket for a free ice cream cone! We saw the cows. We saw the horses. We saw pigs, rabbits, oxen, chickens, ducks, swans, sheep, llamas, alpacas, and a turkey. And when we were done, we got to go play in the corn box, which is like a sandbox but with, you know, corn!
Having completed our scavenger hunt, Ruby really wanted to go on the Wild Mouse ride, which was possibly her favorite thing that she did during all of last year. Supposedly her ribbon qualified her for a free ride, so I went to the ticket booth and demanded one! They told me that they didn’t know anything about that, and I would have to go to the main fair office. But the main fair office was not on my map, so I grabbed a couple of emergency medical workers, who I’m sure had nothing better to do, and asked them about it. They had no idea, so they radioed in to the boss and we finally got a location on that main fair office.
When we arrived, walking through a door that said quite clearly that fair customers should not be there, I asked the woman at the desk about the free ride. She asked if I had attended the big summer reading presentation at the grandstand, because that’s where they had been handed out. Now, look, I was too busy looking at animals to go to that old thing, and by the time we got to the grandstand, it was over and kids were streaming out the doors to pick up their free books. Since we were right there at the exit anyway, and since Ruby had her ribbon on, they gave her a free book and we didn’t even have to wait in the line! They even gave Edward a free book too! So I told the lady at the desk that, clearly we had been there (see our free books?) but somehow we had missed the free ride tickets. So, because she is nice and didn’t want us to have to wait around, she gave us two booklets with 3 free ride tickets each. Score!
Our first stop was the Wild Mouse, which Edward could not ride on, even with an adult. Luckily, Ruby is 48.1″ tall and was able to ride alone. She stood in line by herself, rode it by herself, and had a great time! I was very proud of her, and very sad in a way too. She shouldn’t be old enough to do that yet, right?
After that, she and Edward wanted to go on the obstacle thingy with the big slide at the end, and Edward was big enough to do that one, but only with an adult, so up the rope net I went. I almost got stuck in the slide, but we all made it through without incident, and that left us with two tickets.
We had to choose a ride that Edward could go on with just Ruby, since there were not 3 tickets, and they choose the choo-choo train. Hooray! Everyone had gotten to go on some rides, and that meant it was time for our free ice creams, since we were getting pretty hungry. And wouldn’t you know it, Ruby’s ribbon got her a free ice cream! So with our two scavenger hunt tickets and her ribbon, we got 3 free ice creams! I got one too!
Now it was definitely way past time for lunch. We had been at the fair for almost four hours and we were starving, even after covering our clothes and ourselves with ice cream. But fair food is super expensive, so we left to go to Moe’s, because it was Monday and kids eat free on Mondays. And so, after four hours of fun, some rides, and some ice cream, we walked out of the gates of the fair with our free books, messy faces, and having spent only $12. Ka-chow!