Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the attacks that occurred on September 11th, 2001. Last year, when I was very new to blogging, I wrote a little bit about my recollections of that day, and some reflections on what it meant to me. Today, I want to talk a little bit about moving forward.
My brother, who served in Iraq shortly after the attacks, has told me before that people should be required to watch the footage of the attacks every day so that we can really remember what happened, and what we should be fighting for. I have actually heard this a lot, from many people, and this makes me very sad, because it means that there is still a lot of pent up hurt and rage festering from that day. Perhaps this is obvious to you. Perhaps it is only natural that we should still feel anger and hate. A terrible thing was done.
I tend to look at our country these days like I would look at any person who has been hurt, or damaged. First and foremost, I feel a great sense of sadness for whatever has occurred, and for whoever is hurting because of it. But secondly, and after we take stock of the hurt, I feel that it is time to heal. I will not deny the feelings of anger felt by so many people, but I will say to you all, well, what are you going to do about it?
Yes, I know. You are going to say that we should kill all the terrorists, etc. But revenge has almost never been a direct route to healing. It is generally a direct route to more trouble. I know it’s a hard thing to avoid. “But he hit me first!” is ingrained in our psyches from day one. But does it really make you feel better to hit back? Maybe for a second, but then you have to worry about getting hit again, and again. There is never going to be any peace, or peace of mind while you are both hitting each other. Taking steps to ensure you don’t get hit again? Absolutely, but it is a fine line between that rationale and pure revenge, and when you are living in a wounded place of raw hurt, it is often hard to distinguish between the two.
And so I don’t think we should all watch the videos of the planes hitting the towers every day, any more than I would advise watching the bombing of Pearl Harbor every day, or certainly any more than I would advise someone who lost a loved one to a drunk driver to watch a video of that every day. It’s not healthy, and it’s just not going to be productive, except for the purposes of making you more upset, and if you really just feel like being that upset about it, then I would pray that you experience some healing of your own. There are better ways to remember what we lost.
Now, lest you think me too soft on terror, I must remind you of my belief that we should absolutely do whatever we can to ensure that something like that never happens again. And we probably have different ideas on how that should work. But knee-jerk actions taken from a motivation of revenge are not going to make us feel any better, or any safer. I have argued against the death penalty for years, and proponents of it always ask me, “What if it was your family that had been murdered?” And I have only one answer for them. If my family had just been killed, I would fly into an unholy rage, and if the people responsible were anywhere near me, I would probably kill them. But that would not bring my family back, and it would probably just end up making me feel guilty, or even more helpless, having “delivered justice” and now having nowhere to aim the pain that I would still be feeling. But given some cool down time, sitting in a courtroom, I think I would not ask for the death penalty. Now, how could I know this? How could anyone know what they would do in such a situation?
The closest I have ever come to experiencing such a situation, was on September 11th, 2001. Many people actually did lose friends and family members that day, and for them, the grieving is a different process. But for the rest of us, it was like a smack in the face, a punch in the gut, and a kick in the groin, all at the same time. We had been attacked, and something precious had been taken from us. For about a week, I swore I was going to join the army and go overseas and just start shooting whoever might be responsible. My future wife was concerned about this, and told me not to do anything rash or stupid. But man, for a minute there, I was angry and hurt enough to do it. And then I cooled down. There’s a reason I try not to say anything to someone when I get really angry at them. I would rather leave the room, because I know I will say something I will regret. Something I really don’t mean, just out of anger. And there is a reason there is a waiting period on purchasing guns. And there is a reason that I did not join the army and start shooting people. I would have been miserable. I am definitely not soldier material. I just needed some time before the healing could begin. Yeah, 9/11 still makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it, and yes, I spent yesterday in a bit of a funk, trying to cope with a lot of different feelings. And yes, I am still a little angry. But mostly, I just want to move on. America, it’s cool down time. The pain is real, and it will always be there, but we need to start the healing.