There has recently been some small debate, going on since the dawn of time, as to what constitutes a “real” opera singer, and I am happy at this time to step in and settle the matter once and for all. The word “real,” meaning “being actually such,” can be confusing and is often mistaken for the not-at-all similar word “good.” Therefore, when someone sucks at singing opera, they are often snidely called “not a real” opera singer. I will now explain how this is stupid.
An opera singer, by definition, is a singer of opera. One who is singing opera, if you will. Thus, someone who is singing opera, therefore being a singer of opera, is in fact an opera singer. Some opera singers I have known include my 5-year-old daughter and Bugs Bunny. To say that they are not “real” opera singers is akin to saying that they are not “real” carrot eaters, when in truth I have observed, on more than one occasion, the both of them eating carrots. Perhaps you have entered many carrot eating contests yourself and still hold to the idea that my daughter is not a “real” carrot eater, since she only eats organic baby carrots, and only four or five in one sitting. This is where you are again confused.
Perhaps what you mean when you say that someone is not a “real” something, is that they are not a “professional” something. My daughter is certainly not a professional opera singer, or carrot eater, as she has never made any money doing either of those things. But I think it does a disservice to all the amateur singers out there, who do it for the love of the art, to say that they are not “real” singers. Of course they are real singers. They may just not be professional singers.
And then we come to the case of the professional opera singer who, despite employing poor phrasing, breathing in the middle of words, enjoying a vibrato big enough to drive a truck through, and studying diction from a pocket phrase book, is nevertheless being hired by way more people than you are. Despite your resentment and thoughtful critique of these individuals, it is wrong to say that they are not “real” opera singers. Of course they are. They are “real bad” opera singers. But again, we must not confuse “real” with “good.”
It is perfectly permissible, however, to explain to people that anyone they saw in “Phantom of the Opera” is not a real opera singer. This is because they were not singing opera, and so cannot be opera singers, unless they were singing opera somewhere else at another time. No, those people are musical theater singers, because they were singing a piece of musical theater, despite being saddled with the word “opera” in its title. Other people who are not real opera singers include the lady at your church who sang “Ave Maria” and the actors in the J.G. Wentworth commercials who were only lip synching to me and my friends singing opera.
As a footnote, I would also like to add that the one exception to all of this is Andrea Bocelli. Yes, you could argue that under my rules he is an opera singer, but since he doesn’t so much sing opera as torture it, he does not count. He is more of a Josh Groban (also not an opera singer).
oooo you went for it.