Hello, my name is Tenor Dad and I am an American. As a citizen of the United States I feel as though I am entitled to all of the things at all of the times in all of the places. The idea of choosing some things while not choosing others is only acceptable to me if […]
Category Archives: Edward
How I Became a Bully, and What I Will Tell My Kids About It
Middle school was rough. If you don’t relate to that statement in any way at all, then you clearly did not go to middle school. Junior high, grades 6-8, ages 11-13, this terrible time in any young person’s life involves their body and mind going completely insane, and a sudden, new social world emerging in […]
Your Presents Are Hidden Right There. Don’t Look.
I am, at my core, a rule follower. Yes, I like to bend them, twist them, squeak around them, and change them if I can, but in my heart of hearts I like rules. My daughter is the same way. Once there is a rule, that is it. She follows it, and expects everyone else […]
It’s Not You; It’s Me. No. It’s Us.
I was at church the other day, doing something churchy most likely, when I heard banging coming from the piano. Just the familiar sounds of someone smashing away on the keys with untrained abandon, causing complete cacophony. Without even registering the thought properly, I yelled out “Edward!” And then, as the banging continued, I realized […]
What I See When I Look at My Daughter
Have you ever looked at one thing and seen two? Have you ever stared at something so long that you could actually start to see its past as well as into its future? Is it possible to acquire some sort of second sight that, because you don’t know how to use it, causes you to […]
Put Your Farts On
Johnny Cash was a parent, and you can tell this in his classic song “I Walk the Line.” Yes, that is what we do all day long. Whether it is walking the fine line between freedom and discipline, or the line between nurture and self-preservation, we parents are well versed in the art of line […]
The Donahue Sea Caves (and how we fell into them)
Before we get started, I have to make a disclaimer. The name “Donahue Sea Caves” is very misleading. There is only one of them. I did not name it, so it is not my fault, but I didn’t want you to get mad later, like I did when I arrived, when you discover that the plural […]
There is No Terror Like a Lost Child
There a lot of things to be afraid of in life. Some things are good, healthy fears, like the fear of fire or speeding cars. Most of our fears are stupid though, and we know this. We are lied to, tricked, and manipulated every day by businesses, politicians, the media, and whomever else has something […]
A Few Things I Learned About Hosting a Movie Screening
When the Oscar nominations were announced, I knew I was in trouble. We had only seen three of the five nominated animated films! My daughter asked how we could see them all, and instead of saying “we can’t,” I stupidly decided to figure out a way for it to happen. Do to the evils of the […]
I Swear This Was Not My Idea!
No, seriously. This was not my idea. I was just sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when Edward came up to me with the roll of tape. He was being loud, as usual, and I was concerned with our dwindling tape supply after the previous few tape incidents. Last time he’d found the […]