When I was 19 years old, I accidentally stumbled into the L’International des Feux Loto-Québec, ruining fireworks for me for the next decade at least, and I have been trying to find my way back ever since. This past weekend, as millions of drunk idiots expressed their love of the United States of America by trying […]
Category Archives: Fourth of July
I Don’t Have to Post on Holidays, Right?
Look, it’s not that I don’t want to write something. I love writing. But I’m super busy, and we’re about to get in the car and drive for many hours to visit mt sister-in-law, and the kids are not dressed because they are watching “Bo on the Go” and dancing around with their bananas, and […]
Prosperous Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Birthday. Happy New Year’s. Happy Valentine’s Day. Merry Christmas. Hmmmmm. Why does Christmas get a special greeting? You know, in England they just say Happy Christmas. You can tell this from watching Harry Potter movies. So why did we choose “merry?” Why not just leave it at “happy?” Well, because merry just […]
Today Should Not Be Thursday
I just wanted to take a quick minute to inform you all of the absurdity of today being a weekday. Thursday, of all days! That makes no sense! Yesterday my wife had the day off, we went to a parade, visited with friends and family, and attended a barbecue in the evening. If that doesn’t […]
Happy Birthday America!
Today is our nation’s birthday. Happy Birthday America! Now, I have a lot of feelings about this country. Some of them are positive, and some of them are negative. I know a lot of people will take today as an opportunity to explain to you exactly what is wrong with this country, and they are […]