Sorry, But Clowns Are Funny

This may be a very controversial post, but I’m sorry; clowns are funny. Even the scary ones. I think I am allowed to say that, since so many of you have told me that clowns are scary, even the funny ones. Well the big floppy shoe is on the other foot now, isn’t it? The other […]

Why I Got Stopped For Driving While Black

I have had run-ins with the police before. Generally I am driving too fast, or have a headlight out, or am destroying the DC metro system (not that it needs any help), but almost all of these interactions have been, in a way, pleasant. I am polite to the officers, apologizing for my heinous crimes, […]

Dear White People

Dear White People, What the hell is going on with you? What have you done to this world? I am asking this as a fellow white person, so it is okay for you to listen to me. But seriously, this is not okay. Why do you continue to allow institutional and individual racism to corrode […]

I Was Kicked Off the D.C. Metro For Life. Twice.

The metro system used to close at midnight every single day of the week, including weekends. So it was when I was at school, and so it was when I begin my story. There also used to be no movie theaters in Georgetown or Foggy Bottom, so we movie buffs of The George Washington University […]

The 5 Songs Most Likely to Get Me Pulled Over

Did you know that supermarkets have calculated the exact tempo of song that will cause you to purchase the highest amount of groceries? It’s true. If the song is too slow, you will be sad and depressed and not buy any food, and if the song is too fast you will move quickly through the […]

To Beat the Marathon, You Must Become the Marathon

I was just trying to follow the rules and get to work.  Unfortunately my work often takes place on Sunday morning, marathon or no marathon.  But I carefully read and studied the signage and knew that, while I generally left my house around 8:45, the main road downtown would be closed at 8:30.  I would […]

Yes Officer, That’s My Son

Time to padlock the front door!  Some of you may recall that a year or so ago we had a slight problem with small children escaping through the front door at very inconvenient times.  We solved this issue with a lock installed on the inside of the door juuuuuust high enough so that Edward could […]

Not in Front of the Police

I thought I had finally completed all of the birthday shopping for my wife yesterday, but I was informed by my daughter that she needed to pick out her own present for her mother, so we jumped in the car after lunch and headed off to the store one last time before my wife got […]