So I was doing an online test for a possible part time job, in which they live recorded me via my computer’s microphone and then evaluated me for work. It was going ok until my children suddenly remembered that I was doing something important and they were supposed to stop me from doing it. It […]
Category Archives: Ruby
Attack of the Elmo Balloons
As a parent, it is my fondest desire to give my children all of the things I always wanted but never got as a kid. It never seems to occur to me that there were reasons I never got those things. As soon as I think of something I used to want as a child, […]
Cake Decorating
My mother always made us awesome birthday cakes. We would tell her every year what we wanted to have on our cakes, and she would somehow manage to draw it. One year I asked for Jokey Smurf, holding an exploding package, mid-explosion. And she did it. I don’t know how, and I don’t think she […]
Don’t Wake the Steve
It was laundry day again, and you may recall that my trip to the laundromat did not go so well, so I decided to drive over to my mother-in-law’s apartment and do laundry there. There are toys there, and at least my kids wouldn’t be bothering anyone else with their maniacal behavior. I did try […]
Edward Destroys a Restaurant
Having just moved, we decided to try out all of the local restaurants, and in a town with only one traffic light, that’s not such a monumental task. On Friday we headed out to one of the last places we hadn’t been, a rather upscale (for Richmond) Italian restaurant. By upscale I mean that there […]
Ruby’s Birth Day
Ruby turns four today. It’s hard to believe that it’s been four years since we started this crazy ride (almost five if you count the terrifying day we found out we were going to be parents), so I thought I would tell you about this day, four years ago. Simone was pregnant, of course, and […]
Laundry Day, or Why People With Small Children Should Avoid the Laundromat
Our new house has no laundry facilities, so last week, for the first time in about a decade, I went to the laundromat. I previously did not enjoy the whole “laundromat experience,” but that was before I had two kids. Now the whole thing is just disastrous. First of all, there is no laundromat in […]
The Desire to Keep Our Children Cute and Stupid
When Ruby was smaller, her favorite food was pizza. But for some reason she could not/would not say “pizza.” She called it “pizzi” and, after a while, so did we. “Ruby, do you want pizzi for dinner?” we would say. But eventually it became clear that if we all kept calling it that, someday Ruby […]
Full Body Extreme Toddler Ice Sliding
I went to pick up the kids from my mother’s the other day, and discovered that they had invented a new winter activity. They had shoveled the snow off of the roof into a big pile, which had then partially melted and subsequently frozen over. This of course created a giant pile of sheer ice, […]
The 8th Annual Oscar Party
I thought that the 83rd annual Academy Awards were kind of meh, but the party was great! For the 8th year running, I hosted a get-together at my place to watch the show. For the first year since I became a parent, I had actually seen all of the best picture nominees, and it was […]