I like my coffee like I like my humor: black. No, just kidding. I hate coffee. But I do have to laugh at things that are terrible. It’s my way of dealing, I guess. Even things that are objectively not funny at all. I was thinking about this as I accidentally began to write my […]
Category Archives: Santa Claus
A Few Loving Suggestions for The Polar Express
We love The Polar Express. I want to be very clear about this. We have been four times now, so they must be doing something right. Yes, Ruby was suspicious last time, but we fixed that this year and went at night! No more noticing things! And yeah, Edward walked away from last evening saying […]
Chosen a Dark Path, Santa Has
The story of Santa Claus begins in the third century, when the man who would become Saint Nicholas started life as Nikolaos of Myra. He was, by most accounts, a good man who did not wear a XXXL red jumpsuit, but who did try to bring the unconditional love of Christ into the world in a […]
Infamous Gigs: “Every Christmas Gig Ever” Edition
Ah, Christmas! The time of joy and love. The season of hope and peace. And, for musicians, the season of endless gigs. It is no secret that everyone hates music that was not created by some sort of computerized machine, which is why it is so hard for non-robotic musicians to make a living. But […]
Santa’s Living Conditions
Yesterday my six year old and I were having a conversation about what time Santa would be getting home after doing all of his Christmas deliveries. Then this other conversation happened. Me: “Well, I’m sure Santa was very happy to get back to his house.” Ruby: “Daddy! Santa doesn’t live in a HOUSE!” Me: “He […]
A Phone Call to Santa
I know that writing letters to Santa is the tradition, but in this day and age, why can’t we call him instead? Probably because it would turn out something like this. Merry Christmas everyone!
I’ll Fix It By Making It Worse!
When you think about it, I am a lot like Santa Claus. I live up north with my wife and we have small helpers that are obsessed with toys. But unlike ol’ St. Nick, our helpers do not actually fix things or make them better. Especially the three year old helper. He likes to fix […]
How I Killed Magic: The Polar Express
Every year in Vermont (and possibly other places too), The Vermont Children’s Trust Foundation puts together a ridiculously awesome holiday experience known as “The Polar Express.” The event is based on the now-classic children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg, and not really based on the creepy and weird, but for some reason now also classic, […]
Yes, Ruby, There Is A Santa Claus
So Ruby came home from school the other day and said something horrifying. She said “Van told me that Santa Claus isn’t real.” Seriously!? She’s in pre-school! I didn’t think I’d have to deal with this until at least kindergarten! Well, I just leaned back and said “Now why do you think he said something […]
Santa Stampede or Why I Was Late to Church
Yesterday, as the family was driving off to church in the morning, my wife was telling me a story of how several people in a row cut her off in traffic the other day and how it made her really angry. I can relate, because I still have a list of people in my head […]