Dear Facebook,
Look, I know we’ve had a lot of good times together, some great ones even, and for a while it seemed like it could go on forever. Friendster was just a first crush, and I only thought MySpace was real. I didn’t know true social networking until you came along. I want you to know that I mean that.
But lately, it’s just been missing that spark. You’ve changed. I know I don’t need to tell you that. You’ve worked so hard to become something more than what you were, but, has what you were gotten lost along the way? Maybe. I don’t know. Look, it’s not you, it’s me. Maybe I need different things now.
Actually, okay, I wasn’t going to do this here, but…. well…. I’ve met someone. No, someone new, someone you don’t know. I wasn’t looking for anyone else, I swear to you! But I think on some level I’ve always been dissatisfied with our relationship, and when Google+ came along, well, it was something I had to try.
I know Goog’s not perfect, not yet anyway, and I can’t even say what it is about it that intrigues me, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Is it just because it’s new? Is it something fresh that I’ve been longing for? I don’t even think I know myself, but I can feel myself being pulled towards it, the same way that I can feel the distance between us.
Look, Booky, don’t be upset. It has nothing to do with the size of Google+’s circles! This was inevitable. I promise not to move out right away. I would never just abandon you like that. I just wanted you to know what’s going on with me. I don’t know who is going to get all of our friends in the breakup, we certainly do have a lot of mutual ones, but I know that we will both survive. Well, at least I will. Perhaps in a few years you can reinvent yourself as a social gaming hub?
Anyway, I should probably go. But I hope we can still be friends. On Google+.
With much affection,
Tenor Dad