Recently, amazon.com received a patent for allowing people to return gifts before they have even been received. That really got me thinking about gifts, and the purpose of gifts. On one hand, we are living on a planet of limited resources. Why not let people convert their unwanted gifts into gift certificates for stuff they will actually use, instead of having piles of unread books and unworn sweaters all over the country? But on the other hand, some of my favorite gifts of all time are the things that were not on my list; the surprises, and the things I would never have thought to buy for myself.
We are living in interesting times. Since the dawn of mankind, we have all been striving to be more comfortable. The tools we have developed have been in the service of tasks that we could not do otherwise, or are annoying and bothersome. For the greater part of human history, these inventions and innovations have been about ridding us of physical discomfort. We no longer have to kill our food with our bare hands. We no longer have to stumble outside on a cold winter’s night to relieve ourselves. We no longer have to walk for days to reach other people. We no longer have to get up off the couch to change the channel on the television. In fact, I would say that we are about as physically comfortable as we are going to get. Sure not everyone can afford every luxury, and plenty of people live in cold, drafty, uncomfortable places, but the technology is out there. We live a physically comfortable life. And that’s the problem.
We’ve run out of physically uncomfortable things to rid ourselves of, so we have now, in the twenty-first century, decided to rid ourselves of the socially uncomfortable things instead. People often no longer know their neighbors. And why should they? Their neighbors might be weird, or hold different views than themselves! We don’t need to put up with that anymore! People in offices send e-mails to colleagues seated a few cubicles down from them, rather than actually walking over and speaking to them. Much easier to ask them to do things, or assert your opinion, when they have no chance to interrupt. And friends? Well, we have facebook for that now. Why on Earth should we have to get together with a big group of friends, some of whom we may not actually enjoy, when we can just send them status updates, and save our get-togethers for the chosen few that we actually do enjoy hanging out with?
If you drop an average modern day American into the middle of a forest, they would not know the first thing about surviving. What berries to eat, which trees and plants are which, what poisonous snakes look like, etc. We have no experience with that, except by choice, and so it is only natural that many of us are “out of touch with nature.” My fear is that, if current trends continue, the average future America would not know what to do when dropped into a room full of people. How to interact with strangers, how to be polite, how to show respect for other people’s views and beliefs. If we can’t even graciously accept a bad gift, how can we expect to work together and understand each other?
If we filter out all of the awkward social discomfort, then we are missing out on the human social experience. Nobody likes everybody, and nobody agrees with anyone else 100%, but if we simply hide them on our facebook wall, or quickly walk from our car to our front door, hoping to not have to speak to anyone else, we are doing ourselves a disservice. Honestly, you are not as great as you think you are. You have no more rights than anyone else, and your opinions are no more valid. It’s just hard to remember that sometimes when you have successfully removed all traces of social discomfort from your life. Do yourself a favor and hang out with someone you don’t think you like. Don’t give out a Christmas list next year, and really be surprised. Other people have a lot to offer you. Appreciate it. Enjoy navigating the uncomfortable social world of “everyone else,” before you forget how.