La traviata – A young man’s family tries to keep him from marrying a dying prostitute.
Carmen – An angry mama’s boy takes revenge on his ex-girlfriend, a street magician working for big tobacco.
La bohème – A bunch of lazy freeloaders complain about things until they die.
Tosca – Local police track down a couple of terrorists by interrogating one of their girlfriends.
Die Zauberflöte – A missing child is repeatedly lied to until he joins a cult.
Madama Butterfly – A depressed teenager pines for her ex-boyfriend.
Il barbiere di Siviglia – A greedy barber helps his old boss sneak into an underage girl’s house to stop her guardian from marrying her.
Rigoletto – A paranoid handicapped man teams up with an assassin and a prostitute and attempts to take down a sexual predator.
Le nozze di Figaro – No one, including the composer and librettist, has any idea as to what is going on in this opera.
Don Giovanni – A serial rapist tries to avoid his past victims and fights a ghost.
Die Fledermaus – Everyone goes to a party, gets drunk, and lies to each other.
Aida – A unknowing sleeper agent must suddenly choose between national loyalty and the enemy soldier she has fallen in love with.
L’elisir d’amore – An uneducated farmboy finally drinks enough alcohol to confess his true feelings for an engaged woman.
Eugene Onegin – A young man kills or alienates everyone close to him until he ends up sad and alone.
Così fan tutte – Two douchebags try to trick each other’s girlfriends into having sex with them.