The Last Wipe

It had to happen eventually.  My youngest stopped using diapers several weeks ago, and so there has been no need to buy any more baby wipes.  We still had them, of course, scattered around the house in various locations.  One never knows when one might need a wipe.  They are great for removing make-up, wiping crumbs off of the table, cleaning children’s faces, and picking up gross things off of the floor.  There was a dwindling package of them in the kitchen, and one over by the piano.  The wipes upstairs went quickly, but it was easy enough to find them somewhere else when necessary.  Until I went to grab one the other day and discovered that we were down to the last wipe.

There were two wipes left, but sometimes when you get down to the end of the package, the last two come out together, and when this happened, and I realized that these were the last two wipes in the house, I frantically stuffed one of them back into the empty hole and sealed it up.  I was worried about what would happen if I needed one later for a runny nose, or a mouthful of raisins spit onto the floor.  I carefully used only one of the two remaining wipes, leaving me with exactly one wipe left.

I searched the house, thinking that perhaps I was mistaken about the sudden shortage.  What about the wipes by the piano?  Gone.  Upstairs?  Nope.  Not a wipe to be had.  We had only one container of wipes left, and it contained only one wipe.  This was really it.  And I was not ready for this.

I spent the next few days not using any wipes at all.  I mean, we have paper towels, rags, dish cloths, Mr. Clean spray, sponges, and all sorts of other alternatives to baby wipes.  Every time I was tempted to grab a wipe, I used something else instead.  Because if I used the last wipe, then we would be out of wipes.  Forever.  Because why would I buy baby wipes if we had no baby?

In a more perfect world, this post would be about acceptance and the way that I moved on to a new and exciting phase in my child’s development, reluctantly letting go of the past and eventually feeling good about my decision.  But instead, this is a blog about me going to Costco last Friday and buying a giant box of baby wipes.

Look, I saw all of those other products.  Make-up removing wipes were on sale as well, but cost more than three times what the baby wipes did!  Instead of spending tons of money on make-up remover, tissues, paper towels, disinfecting wipes, and who knows what else, I could spend $17 and get enough baby wipes to last us for a year!  You wouldn’t believe how long a thousand baby wipes will stretch when you don’t have a baby.  What a bargain!

So now there is a brand new package of wipes in the kitchen, one by the piano, and one upstairs in the kids’ room.  Plus, six more packages in the closet awaiting their eventual use.  It just makes sense.  We needed them!  And maybe someday we won’t need them anymore.  I hope I’m ready when that day comes.  Just give me and the kids another five to ten years or so.  And they have to use the sippy cups until they leave for college.

Posted in Bad Parenting, Costco, Parenting, Wipes.


  1. I loved this. And, I have to confess, I now buy baby wipes to make the dogs smell baby fresh. So, there’s hope after high school. =)

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