Skaters wearing baggy pants halfway to their ankles – I mean, of all the people who might want sagging jeans, people who are trying to do tricks on skateboards ought to be last on that list! If I were trying to slide down a railing on a thin piece of board, I would probably want to be wearing spandex. But nooooo, loose fitting pants that ride way too low for anyone’s comfort level have become practically synonymous with the skaters. That makes no sense!
Pro-Lifers who support the death penalty – What part of life do you not understand? I mean, I get the distinction between serial killers and little blobs of fetus goo, and I can see how one might be more desirable for you to put an end to, but then don’t say you are pro-life. Make up a new term for yourself that better encompasses you actual views, like pro-fetus, or pro-murderer-murdering. But to me, saying that you are pro LIFE, and all that the word might encompass, and then asking your government to start snuffing out criminals is a bit of a contradiction. It makes no sense!
Watching the Star Wars Movies for the first time from I to VI – Do not start with The Phantom Menace! Why!? Why would you do this?! I have talked to more than one person who had never seen any of the movies and was planning on watching them all in “chronological order” once they were all out. Or even worse, showing them to their children in that order. No! The last three were prequels people! Yes, he numbered them one, two, and three, but those movies were made after the original films, and there are so many moments and secrets revealed in Empire and Jedi that would be totally ruined if you had already seen episodes 1-3. Do yourself a favor and watch them in the order that they were theatrically released, and then if you want to, rewatch them in the numerical episode order. But why ruin all the fun and mystery of episodes 4-6 by spoiling all the plot twists in advance? That makes so sense!
Poor uneducated people voting Republican and rich educated people voting Democrat – Hey citizens of the United States! I think you are all confused! Let me spell this out for you. Republicans do not want to give any money to poor people. They want to cut your health care and your benefits, and possibly deport you by accident. Do not vote for them, poor people! They are out to get you! And Democrats want to take all the money away from the rich people with good jobs who probably went to college, and they want to give it to the poor people and the old people and the sick people. So why are the liberal elite so liberal? Why are they not all Republicans? What do they have to gain by voting Democrat? Everyone is voting against their own self-interest. It makes no sense!
Opera Plots – Do you know why most operas are sung in foreign languages? Because they make more sense that way! You seriously expect me to believe that Almaviva cannot tell the difference between his wife, the girl he is trying to sleep with, and the pageboy? I don’t care how dark it is in that garden, that is ridiculous. Why does everybody always think somebody is really somebody else, and why is everyone always falling in love and/or killing themselves? And seriously Rigoletto, you can’t tell the difference between a young girl sized sack and a fat duke sized sack? Don’t even get me started on The Ring Cycle, which nobody can follow the plot to because it is four days long! And then to tell me that Tosca is going to be singing a dramatic aria while locked in a room with some sort of sex fiend?! And people! You cannot sing for ten minutes after you have been repeatedly stabbed in the chest! That makes no sense!
The ending to Superman: The Movie – You cannot travel backwards in time by flying around the Earth super fast! That makes no sense!
Parenting – If there was ever something that made no sense at all, it is parenting. You spend decades trying to cultivate and nurture this creation, only to have it eventually try to escape you and then mock your computer skills to its friends. You have to protect your child from the world, while at the same time educate and prepare your child to live in that world. You want them to be just like you, to carry on your immortal torch after you have passed from this world, but on the other hand you cringe when you see them acting like you after all. You love them and want to kill them at the same time. Your children make you so angry, and yet sometimes you can’t help but laugh in the middle of it all. It makes no sense. But I suppose that some things just make a different kind of sense that is beyond me. When you add in every complicated external factor and take into account complex systems that exceed the human mind’s ability to process, I concede that many of the things on this list might a sort of sense after all. Just not to me. And definitely not the one about Superman.
OMG. Who would watch Star Wars in that order. I don’t know anyone that young. Oh wait, I better ask them…I mean, WARN them!!
In that same vein, what is your opinion on the Hobbit?
Well, I am a fan of the Hobbit, and I think it ought to be read first. After all the movies come out, I will make a blanket statement about the order in which to watch those films. In other news, the renumbering of The Chronicles of Narnia to make “The Magician’s Nephew” first is also dumb and I will not read them that way to my children.