Everyone there knew I was a singer. Her co-workers would ask my wife what I did for work, and she would tell them that I was a singer, and they were all very impressed. She would also tell them that I was a very good singer, but I don’t know if they believed her. I mean, I’m sure they didn’t think I was terrible, but saying your husband is a professional musician is a bit like saying your child’s team is going to the playoffs. We’re all sure that they are fine at what they do, but come on. We’re not going to be seeing them on television anytime soon, are we?
Well for years my wife’s boss (or technically her boss’ boss, or even her boss’ boss’ boss) would tell me that he was going to have to have me come sing at one of their company events sometime. I would smile and nod and say that this was an excellent idea, knowing that it was never going to actually happen. I mean, I am an opera singer, not a lounge singer. I am not going to show up and get people dancing, or quietly provide background music. I am quite loud, actually. So I spent a few years agreeing that we would definitely make it happen someday, knowing that someday never comes. And then someday came.
The Germans were coming, you see, and they needed to be impressed. They needed to hear something in German! German music, perhaps! Who did he know that might be able to sing something in German…? Ah ha! I got the call. Or rather, my wife came home and told me that I had been hired to sing at a company event, and I needed to sing something in German. That sounded reasonable. And the good news was that this special gathering for the Germans was only for the top brass, but because her husband was providing the entertainment, my wife was now also invited, despite being only medium brass. This was great! Maybe I could help her career along with my voice! Provided I didn’t suck…
The first question that any classical singer must ask when invited to perform at this type of event is obviously…. (I am giving you a chance to answer in your head in case you feel that you already know the answer and would like to guess)… is there a piano there, and who is playing it? This is a very crucial piece of information. Why yes, there would be an electric keyboard of some sort at this person’s house, and they would have somebody play it for me. Now, saying that you have some sort of keyboard at your house and that someone will play it, is a bit like saying your husband is a professional musician, if you know what I mean. I was nervous. Quality was not guaranteed. Rehearsal was not guaranteed. But hey, pretty much anyone can sightread Strauss lieder, right? Right?
My wife and I arrived at this beautiful home and I immediately went upstairs to make my preparations. I found the keyboard, and the player, situated at the top of a sort of balcony/bridge that overlooked the large open area where the party was to take place. Food was being set out, guests were starting to arrive, and we prepared ourselves for the arrival of…The Germans.
I don’t know what people were expecting me to do, but when I busted out some good old fashioned Mozart arias everybody got real quiet and paid attention. I could tell that they were surprised. I could see it in their faces. Especially the mouth parts of their faces, as they later formed the words “Wow, what a surprise!” with them. I got many compliments, mostly mingled with remarks like “I never expected that!” or “She said you were a singer, but…” Again, I don’t know what they were expecting. Or maybe I do. But let me say that being hired by your spouse’s boss is very strange, and uniquely stressful. I’ll never forget that gig though, singing over a railing down to a room full of my wife’s superiors, seeing their hors d’oeuvre filled mouths and their widening eyes as I filled the building with song. And by the way, the Germans, who were not at all surprised, loved it.
P.S. The accompanist was awesome.