Mastering Edwardian Speech

When one lives with an Edward, one is immersed in all things Edwardian. You live in an Edwardian house, noted for their train track covered floors and high pitched shrieking; you eat Edwardian food, mainly hot dogs; and you are well versed in Edwardian fashion, which is to say, constant nudity. But one cannot live […]

5 Things My Wife Thinks I Should Blog About

I’m home with the boy today, due to health issues that continue to plague us, and I am feeling kind of sad. I have an opera to memorize by tonight, which I was supposed to be hardcore cramming today, but instead I am watching Word Girl and eating Marshmallow Crispy Oreos. I have no ideas […]

How We Rescued My Wife From the Bathroom

“Daddy! Mommy’s stuck in the bathroom!” “No, no,” I chuckled, “I think maybe Mommy wants to be stuck in the bathroom. If she’s not coming out, why don’t we give her some space.” Ah, children, I thought to myself, someday they will understand why we adults get “stuck” in the bathroom sometimes. Mommy probably just needs some alone time. “No […]

The Old Man and the Sink

While shopping with my three-year-old the other day, it became quite apparent that he needed to find a restroom.  His version of the pee-pee dance is to crouch down slightly, as if he is halfway to a football huddle, grab his crotch firmly with both hands, and then run around in a circle over and […]

Requiem for a Bathroom

Thank you all for coming today to celebrate the life of one of the finest rooms I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, the Spider-Man Bathroom.  It had a good, albeit short life, and I hope we can all remember the good times we had there.  You might call it the conversation piece of the […]