Santa Got Covid

I like my coffee like I like my humor: black. No, just kidding. I hate coffee. But I do have to laugh at things that are terrible. It’s my way of dealing, I guess. Even things that are objectively not funny at all. I was thinking about this as I accidentally began to write my […]

A Few Loving Suggestions for The Polar Express

We love The Polar Express. I want to be very clear about this. We have been four times now, so they must be doing something right. Yes, Ruby was suspicious last time, but we fixed that this year and went at night! No more noticing things! And yeah, Edward walked away from last evening saying […]

What I Told My Christian Son When He Asked to Celebrate Hanukkah

“Daddy, can we celebrate Hanukkah?” It was a simple question, to which I had no answer. On the one hand, of course not. We are not Jewish. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah, and Christians (and American “nones”) celebrate Christmas. That’s just how it is. On the other hand though, why not? The first thing I thought […]

The Difference Between 2nd Cousins and Cousins Twice Removed

There is a very easy way to keep track of whether cousins are 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc., or whether they are cousins once, twice, thrice, or more removed. With a family like mine, full of cousins of various varieties, we need to be able to keep track of such things, so here’s how you […]

The Salvational Power of Giving

The last time I was depressed (and I mean really depressed) I lost almost everything. I don’t talk about that year very often, because I would much rather be funny and uplifting and joyous. But it happened, and I could start to feel it happening again. I quit Facebook and social media. I stopped blogging […]

The 2015 Christmas Eve Scavenger Hunt (CESH), and What Came After

Every year, my wife’s family spends Christmas Eve together, eating cookies, drinking tea and hot chocolate, opening gifts, singing carols, and running around the downtown area publicly humiliating themselves. So basically just your normal holiday traditions. We rotate the responsibilities of designing and constructing the epic photo/video scavenger hunt each year, and this time it […]


There is a difference between people who use their grammar well, and those who use it poorly, even though they’re well-educated. The people who use grammar well are the people who have watched the following educational, holiday parody video. The people who use poor grammar most likely have not seen it. So do them all […]

“Merry Christmas Satan” – A Starbucks Story

Sometimes things just slip out of your mouth, you know? The filter disengages and you say exactly what you are thinking before stopping to wonder if it is, perhaps, appropriate. I find that this is especially possible when in unfamiliar territory, being already off-balance and confused as to how to act. Such was the case […]

Chosen a Dark Path, Santa Has

The story of Santa Claus begins in the third century, when the man who would become Saint Nicholas started life as Nikolaos of Myra. He was, by most accounts, a good man who did not wear a XXXL red jumpsuit, but who did try to bring the unconditional love of Christ into the world in a […]

The Worst Grammar and Spelling Mistakes You Can Think Of

Well, Christmas is nearly upon us, which means it is time for me to provide you with another helpful, holiday-themed video that will improve your life immeasurably. Thanks to me you all now know the difference between a peninsula, and island, and an isthmus. You can properly conjugate the verb “to lie” (or is it […]