I woke up this morning and heard my wife telling Edward to get dressed. Well, first she was telling. Then she was pleading. Then commanding. Then ordering threateningly. It wasn’t working. To be fair, she was in the shower at the time and didn’t have a lot of options. So I decided to help. I got ready for my own shower, and when Edward finally rounded the corner I said the one thing that I knew would get the job done.
“Oh good. You’re not dressed. Now I’m going to win.”
I said it very smugly, and then walked away without another word. I got into the shower, and less than three minutes later a fully dressed Edward burst into the bathroom ready to gloat. I don’t know how he got dressed that quickly. I don’t know how he even got upstairs and back down again so quickly, much less pick out clothes, take off his jammies, and get fully dressed. But there he was. Cackling at how I had lost. Was there a game? A race? Were there rules? Didn’t matter. All he knew was that I had not won. And so I turned to him and said, “At least you haven’t eaten breakfast yet.” All I could hear was the slamming of the door and his maniacal laughter as he sped off yet again.
I don’t know how long this is going to work. I don’t even know if I feel good about it. Aren’t I, in a way, lying to my son? Sort of? I am pretending that I don’t want him to get ready for his day at 1st grade. But he clearly knows that I do want him to get ready, right? So it’s not lying, it’s just a game, right? But are we someday going to have the “I bet I can win at staying sober” game? Or the “who can go the speed limit the longest” game? Funny what a fear of losing can do to people. When does he catch on? Or has he already caught on, and he just likes to play?
I don’t know, but for now I’m going to go with what works. And we will evolve and grow together.
Oh, and I see you haven’t shared any of my posts recently. Excellent. Now I’m going to win.