My mind was wandering the other day, as it is wont to do, and I started thinking about the worst day of my life. Or rather, whether or not it has already happened. For years I could easily pinpoint the worst day of my life, or at least the worst moment, but then it changed the day I saw my child stop breathing. The nightmares that I still have, from time to time, cement this moment in my life as the worst for me. But who’s to say that darker times are not ahead?
I think I can say without much exception that we all hope that our worst days are behind us, but we all know that there are eventualities ahead of us that are terrible to contemplate. For instance, it seems probable that I will lose my parents at some point in my lifetime. Will that day be worse than what I have previously experienced? Or will it be sad, but accepted as a natural life progression, the way the thought of losing a child is not? And who will live longer? Me, or my wife?
Morbid thoughts to be sure, so I will try not to dwell on them much longer, but I wonder about people who have had to face worse tragedy than I ever have. Do they feel that their darkest days are behind them? Or do they worry that something even worse is lurking around the corner? In my experience, losing loved ones, or relationships with them, are the things that will stand out for us as the worst, so assuming that you continue to have relationships, there is always the potential for loss. Maybe there is no way to even begin to guess at your worst day until all your days are done.
Whenever I am having just a run-of-the-mill regular old bad day, I often think of my friend Tracy and one of her worst days. She had just returned from living abroad, only to find out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her while she was away. They broke up but, having no other place to stay, she had to spend the night there. Tracy decided to go out dancing for the evening, leaving her now ex-boyfriend behind, and while she was out, a car ran over her foot. She made it back to the ex-boyfriend’s apartment, only to find out that his car had been stolen, with every single thing she owned in the world still in the trunk. And, lest I forget to mention this, it was her birthday. I simply cannot feel sorry for myself and my problems when I think about that day of hers. And yet, without putting words in her mouth, I think she has now had days that have been worse than that.
So what do you think? Has the worst day of your life already happened? Or is it on its way? I’m just curious. I’d like to think that mine has gone by, but I’m fairly sure that it hasn’t. You don’t need to give specifics, or feel free to comment anonymously, but let me know what you think, and hopefully I’ll be in a more upbeat mood tomorrow.