We all need a night off now and then, to reconnect with our spouses and our sanity. Just one evening of escape from the duties of parenting every now and again feels miraculous. But let’s be honest, if you have to be home for bedtime, it doesn’t count.
Bedtime is perhaps the single most complicated, energy-intensive, and important routine in the house, even coming out ahead of other such processes as “getting ready for school” and the more general “getting out the door.” And sure, if you get to avoid making dinner for the children, well that’s nice and all, but if you finish your evening and arrive home to be greeted with the Sisyphean task of putting the children to bed, your relaxation is over and your “break” was more of a hiccup.
My wife and I went out a few weeks ago and were planning on seeing a movie, but we left too late and we missed it. All of the later showings were way too late (what ever happened to an 8 o’clock movie?!) and so we decided to just go to dinner. Dinner was surprisingly quick and efficient. The servers were attentive and the service was fast. In short, it was a disaster. Because we walked out of the restaurant at around 6:50, knowing what was waiting for us at home. No, we couldn’t do it. We had to find somewhere else to go! We would rather sit in a locked car in the cold in the parking lot of an abandoned K-Mart for an hour than go home to our loving children!
We went out for ice cream instead, which was much more enjoyable, even in a Vermont winter. Because bedtimes are intense! We start the process with Edward at around 6:45, and we finally finish with Ruby somewhere around 8:30. Between baths (if needed), teeth brushing, stories, cuddling, prayers, songs, glasses of water, snacks, escape attempts, back rubs, philosophical debates, and the final kiss goodnight, it is the marathon of parenting. And we have to do it twice in a row! I don’t care how good your dinner was; if you have to come home and do all of that after you eat, it was not date night. It was more of a romantic work meeting.
So parents, I encourage all of you out there to plan your fleeting moments of free time together wisely. Do not schedule early dates. In fact, feed your kids first and then go out later! What happens before the date does not matter. All that matters is that when you get home from your night out, there is nothing else between you and your bed. Except Netflix obviously.