I Joined a Gym

I have been to “the gym” exactly three times in my life.  The first time was when I was in college and my roommates (who always seemed to be going to the gym) asked if I wanted to come along.  I went in, fooled around a little bit, annoyed my roommates to no end, decided it was boring, and that was the end of that.

The second time was about 8 years later, while I was in graduate school.  Again, my gym-hungry classmates were on their way to work out for the billionth time, and they encouraged me to check it out.  I had a great time.  I was wearing jeans, hiking boots, and a superhero t-shirt, and I thoroughly enjoyed treadmill dancing, even though my friends would no longer acknowledge that they knew me.

The third time I went to the gym was this past summer.  Everyone involved in La Rondine at Middlebury was given a free gym pass for the run of the show, and I spent one day returning to my favorite activity, disco treadmill (now with more flailing!).  And thus concludes my gym history.

Now, I have worked out before.  I have gone jogging, biking, rollerblading, and walking.  I went to the on-site weight room a few times when I was at Music Academy.  But I have never seriously “been to the gym” as they say, on a regular basis.

Well, my wife’s new job comes with discounted gym memberships, so all of that is about to change.  Maybe.  I went over this morning for the first time, just to check it out.  I got my membership card and dropped Edward off in the childcare room ($8 a day, so I’m not sure how many days I can afford to work out.  Not every day, that’s for sure!).  I hung my coat up and went over to the fitness room, but here I was met with a big sign reading “No Outdoor Shoes.”  They take things a little more seriously over there I guess.  Here I am, still standing in my jeans and hiking boots, but unable to enter the fitness room.

I figured I would just take my boots off, but reading further down the sign, I also noticed a prohibition regarding socks and bare feet.  So I was out of luck.  Apparently, one is required to wear proper “work-out attire” to even enter the rooms at this place.  I wandered over to the pool, and the spinning room, but you have to sign up in advance to go into those rooms, so again I was left standing in the hallway.

I wanted to get my $8 worth of child care that I had already paid for, so I wandered slowly up and down the halls, reading signs promising a healthier me, and staring at posters of oily, muscly people shouting things like “Never give up!”  I took some pamphlets and signed up for a free personal fitness evaluation, and finally after about 20 minutes I gave up and went back to the nursery.

Edward and I came home reluctantly, he because I took away the train he was playing with, and me because I had just wasted $8 so that I could take several sips from the drinking fountain without holding a child in my arms.  I guess if I am going to go back I should put together a gym bag of some sort, with sneakers and shorts and whatnot.  I don’t know though.  I want to be healthy and in shape, but peeking through those windows, looking at all those sweaty people on bikes and weight machines, all I could think was that I’d rather go home and write a blog about this than actually do it.  So I did.  And now I feel great!