It’s that time of year again. The time when I have to put on my jacket because, while it is still technically the season of summer, there is a frost warning for tonight. Putting my jacket on after a lengthy leave of absence is always exciting, because taking it off for the last time is never planned. Like so many cancelled television shows who have left us with cliffhangers, never to be renewed, I start wearing my jacket less and less often, until suddenly one day I realize that I have not worn it in weeks and I am wearing a bathing suit and building a sandcastle. There was never an awareness of a “last jacket day.” What this means is that I never clean out my pockets until the following Fall.
Zipping up my coat for the first time in months, my hands slowly slipped into my pockets, absentmindedly running fingers over items once thought lost or dead. It’s like a treasure hunt with no map! Here is a quick recap of this year’s haul!
1. Burt’s Bees Lip Balm
This makes sense. I often will need to use this particular item in the colder months, but not so much in the summer. It stands to reason that I would not have gone looking for my lip balm after May, so the coat pocket is a fine place for it to have stayed. And I’m sure that, soon enough, I will be glad to have it back. Cause Burt’s Bees is the BALM!
2. Crumpled Up Costco Receipt
You can tell that it is from Costco, not only because it says “Costco” at the top, but also because of the smiley face drawn on it. This is why kids love the place. Don’t tell my pack rat children, but I am throwing this away.
3. My Wife’s Insurance Card
Huh. So THAT’S where that went…
4. The Wall Adapter Part of My Phone Charger
I have no idea how this ended up in my jacket pocket, or why it would be separated from its cable. Maybe I needed to charge something in the car? But then why didn’t I need to find it again later? Must be an extra.
5. An Angry Birds Pig Pencil Topper
This makes a certain kind of sense as well. In the winter, my pencils get cold, so they need a warm fuzzy evil pig to wear like a hat, but in the summer they prefer to be naked. Now that the weather is cooling down again, my scantily clad pencils will need to cover up once more.
6. A Complete Deck of “The Hobbit” Themed Tarot Cards
I don’t even need to explain this. Everyone in America has this in their jacket pocket at all times.
That’s it for this year. I was a little disappointed not to find anything edible. Usually I at least find a stick of gum or something. Oh well. There’s always next year. And in another month or two I will get to do this again with my winter coat! I can’t wait!