Ruby has now completed her first full week of Kindergarten. They started the year with a three day week of half-days (the afternoons were for individual student evaluations) and of course with Labor Day the following Monday they had only a four day week. Now, with a full five day week under our belts, we feel quite confident that we still have no idea what is going on. All we know is what Ruby tells us, and what she tells us is “I’m bored.”
Now, lest you think that Ruby does not enjoy Kindergarten, you should know that we have to practically drag her home every day when the bell rings. The afternoons are full of her favorite parts of school. Art, Music, Gym, Computers. All the “specials.” But when I ask her what she learned each day, she always says “nothing.” And if I ask her about the morning, she always tells me it was totally boring, because they are doing stuff that she already knows.
So right away, I am torn. “I’m bored” is kind of a trigger phrase for me. When kids are bored at school, they stop trying. They get into trouble. They give up on learning. And so on, and so forth. I know she is just starting out, but it seems to me that this could set up a lifelong pattern and a relationship to school, where she will spend the next 13-20 years of her life. And so I did the thing that I was not going to do after only one week of school. I set up a meeting with her teacher.
I worried about that meeting for days beforehand. What would I say? How should I come across? I did not want to be one of those obnoxious hovering parents that is always bugging the teacher for annoying reason after annoying reason, and I certainly didn’t want to go in there and aggressively suggest that my daughter was too smart for their school. On the other hand, I feel that parents and teachers should have good communication, since they are the team that is going to be shepherding the child through the coming year, and just getting some questions answered couldn’t be a bad thing, right?
One point that I wanted to make very clear was that I was not trying to suggest that Ruby was smarter than the other kids. In fact, I had no idea where all the other kids were at in her classroom. All I knew was that Ruby could read and write, and spending an entire week learning to write a lowercase “b” was not holding her interest. What I wanted to know was, when did the evaluation period end? When would they know where each kid’s level was, and then start to group them into different ability groups? Was that going to happen at all? What was the end goal of Kindergarten? What would they be teaching my daughter over the coming year that she didn’t already know? And what could I do to help?
Armed with these questions, and a feeling of total terror, I met my wife at the school and we sat down at a picnic table with Ruby’s teacher. What she told us was comforting and and upsetting at the same time. She said that Ruby was a step above the other students in the class. She was the only one who could read and write, and her math skills were also further along. Ok, good to know. We didn’t want to assume that (even though we obviously think Ruby is a super genius), but it was at least good to know that they recognized where Ruby’s levels were at, and that they were paying attention.
Her teacher also told us that Ruby was going to take some special tests to see exactly how far ahead she was, and in a few weeks, once all of that evaluating was done, Ruby would be given more advanced stuff to do. While the other kids learned letters, Ruby would be reading books. This made us feel a lot better. Ruby would be learning something after all. I honestly don’t care what her levels are at, or if they are ahead of the other kids or not, as long as she is learning and she is having fun. It sounds like she is in a good place for that.
The bad news came later. We asked the teacher about enrichment programs for advanced kids, like the ones my wife and I participated in when we were in school, and we were told that they do not exist anymore in public schools. Anywhere. Once “No Child Left Behind” was passed, the priority of every school became getting all of the students who were behind, caught up enough to pass the standardized tests that allow the schools to keep their funding. It is ALL about the standardized testing now. And there is no room in the budget, nor time in the day, to focus any energy on kids who might be ahead of the curve. Basically, we will have to work with every teacher individually to ensure that Ruby will be able to work at her own pace, rather than the nationally mandated standardized pace.
I know from experience that some teachers will be happy to do this, and some will not. My mother fought very hard for me when I was in school, to be able to use math books that were a year ahead. I was reading at a completely different level, and if it hadn’t been for my mother, and the enrichment programs offered by the school system, I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me. I was bored enough as it was, and was always getting into trouble and having my seat moved in class, and that was with the advanced work to do. These days, it sounds like an even tougher battle that we’re facing.
Now, I have to concede that in terms of Ruby’s abilities, she may just be more prepared than the other kids. I’m not going to claim that her I.Q. is higher than all of her classmates (unless you ask me in person, in which case I will claim that she is the smartest, best kid who ever lived), and after a year or two, it is quite possible that the other kids will catch up in the reading and math departments. And if that happens, I’m okay with it. As long as she keeps learning, it doesn’t matter what the other kids are doing. And making sure that everyone is up to federal guidelines is fine with me too. But we can’t hold kids back who want to surge ahead! These are the future leaders of our country. These are the possible movers and shakers. If we don’t let them move ahead at their own pace, we are doing our country a serious disservice. And if my kids are not in that group, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong not to help the advanced kids keep advancing. And if my kids are in that group, you can bet I’m going to spend the next couple of decades fighting for them.
I would like to amend this post by saying that there are certainly opportunities for gifted children in some places, like magnet school, or even some remnants of the enrichment programs, but just not in my town, or county, or general area. Just so I don’t get angry comments about that. 🙂
I think you’re right, for the most part. But i hate that you haven’t even considered that your child can keep learning, at all times, at home by herself or with you and your wife. Learning is not and should not be limited to being a school activity. I too was bored. It is an important and good skill to develop to learn to deal and thrive when being in a diverse group. All through life, after all, you will have to live, work and be with others who may be at a different pace than you.
That is a good point. I didn’t discuss it in this post because I was trying to keep the focus on the school part of it, but we considered many different options before our meeting, including homeschooling, skipping a grade, and a combination of homeschool and public school. After our meeting we felt better about her current situation, but more worried about her possible future situations.
And of course the reason she is so far ahead at this point is that we have been working with her at home, reading, playing word games, and turning everyday situations into math problems and learning opportunities. As I mentioned above, both the parents and the teachers need to work together to reach the child.
As to your last point, while it is certainly true that we need to be able to work with and around people of different ability levels, I don’t think that’s the same thing as everyone working at the same pace.
Do they still do “skip a grade” for kids in this day and age? I mean, with No Child Left Behind, I imagine they don’t keep kids back a grade very often anymore… (Always the scariest threat from what I remember of grade school), but is there an opportunity to be the youngest SECOND grader next year or something? It *would* be terrible to miss a section, but if she’s so far ahead, should the number in her grade reflect that?
(Non-Mom spouting potential nonsense here, but I feel her pain from my early schooling as well)…
It may be an option to move her ahead. With Isabella, we had to send her to a private Kindergarten in order to get her ahead for 1st grade. It was the way through the loophole of missing the birthday cutoff. Once they evaluate her they may see it as an option. Good luck…and never stop fighting…you are their only advocate in the school systems today.
We lived your life 4 years ago. And we even did school choice to get Emma into a “good” school district. Your job is to not settle, you must be Ruby’s advocate for the next 13 years. Not all schoo districts are created equal, do you have school choice as an option where you live? You have talked with the teacher, but I would suggest talking to the administration to find out their philosophy. You may, or may not find an ally there. In our case the teacher was pretty good about grouping the 2-3 kids who were more advanced and challenging them, but not making them feel “different”. The kids all worked on math or reading, but the higher level group worked at a faster pace with more advanced materials. This worked to an extent, but after seeing the culture of the school and having lengthy discussions with the administration it was apparent they were not equipped to handle these kids long term. We are like you…..we want Emma to love to learn…we don’t really care about the knowledge base per se but we care a great deal about keeping the desire to learn strong and passionate. Schools these days seem to have a hard time grasping that IMHO. They are so focused on the test they tend to forget about the process. Ultimately we decided to pull Emma from the public school system. We thought long and hard about home schooling, but for us it just wasn’t the right fit. Decided to go the private school route….the big benefit is the smaller class size…..they are not perfect by a long shot, but being a private school they are much more willing to work together with the parent to find solutions. It is still a battle and we have to advocate on a routine basis. We also realized that we had to fill all the holes we felt the education system has left out. Point being that there may not be any one right fit for your family. You will have to make choices and fill in the holes, and while this is very frustrating it is now your job. Your kids are lucky to have you in their corner. Many parents settle because they often feel they have no other choice. Fight the good fight. I would like to tell you it gets easier as they get older, but it really doesn’t…..or at least it hasn’t yet for us. Just different. Different issues. Different solutions. Hang in there.