l’Elisir d’amore
There was once this kid, Nemorino,
Who seemed sweet, but, hey, what do we know?
He fell for Adina,
And, in love’s arena,
He solved all his problems with vino.
Tosca
A singer of beauty and power
Was fine yesterday at this hour,
But then she stabbed a cop
And her boyfriend got shot,
So she flung herself off of a tower.
Faust
There once was a Satan from Hell,
Who thought it would be really swell
To take an old man
And make him young again
In exchange for service etern-ell.
La Bohème
There once were some friends from Paris
Who loved art, but had no money.
They fought and stormed off
‘Till one started to cough,
And that was the end of Mimì.
Der Ring des Nibelungen
There once were some maidens of Rhine
Whose gold was so terribly fine,
That it caused clashing powers
To fight fifteen hours.
They should’ve just done it in nine.
Don Pasquale
Ernesto once lived in a good place,
‘Till his uncle told him, “Pack your suitcase!”
He tried to emote,
But you can’t hit high notes
When you’re being attacked with a lute case.