Wishful Thinking

You told me to get in my bed You did But, wow, there’s so much stuff to do! You said to get straight into bed I know But honestly When do I listen to you? You tell me “Don’t touch that!” And out creeps my finger You say “Hurry UP!” And I sit there and linger […]

Highway Tempo

Driving down the interstate at Break. Neck. Speed. That’s when all those officers Arrive. For. Me. “Step out of your vehicle!” they scream, “Get! Out!” “You were doing 93…” I’m sorry sir, but I was driving fast cause I, was listening to the I sley Brothers “Twist and Shout.” Driving down the interstate at Slow…er…speed. […]

Bear’s Song

Hello. Bear hear. Nice to sea you again. Ruby’s dad is always righting songs and pomes and stuff, and he never lets me do anything! So I wrote a pome today too. It is a very good pome full of rimes. I hope you like it. It is called “Bear’s Song” Bear’s Song Beware the […]


The Definition of Poetry

A poem is just a collection of words; Some that I made up and some others you’ve heard. Some poems are epic and some of them rhyme, Some are quite good, and some others are mine. I think you’re supposed to use language in ways That cause “black-and-white” folks to notice the grays. Putting old […]

Snowball Fight

I hardly could sleep. I waited all night. I’m ready to win the snowball fight. Yesterday, all day, I made preparations. Hundred of snowballs await detonation. I’ve piled them up right here in my sled. I launch ’bout a dozen, direct to your head. This system I’ve rigged up will let ’em all fly. I’ll blot […]

Instruments for Small Children

Accordion, Trumpet, Maracas, Trombone, Viola, Euphonium, Flute, Saxophone, Piano, Bassoon, Banjo, Didgeridoo, Pick one to learn; if you wanna, pick two! Piccolo, Tuba, Guitar, Violin, Harpsichord, Oboe, French Horn, Theramin, Bagpipes, Celesta, Cello, Double Bass, Practice them all ’till you’re blue in the face! Shofar, Marimba, Calliope, Kora, Ukulele, Ocarina, Recorder, Xylophone, Sackbut, Kazoo, Fiddle, […]

5 Things My Wife Thinks I Should Blog About

I’m home with the boy today, due to health issues that continue to plague us, and I am feeling kind of sad. I have an opera to memorize by tonight, which I was supposed to be hardcore cramming today, but instead I am watching Word Girl and eating Marshmallow Crispy Oreos. I have no ideas […]

The Opera Alphabet (Which I Will Now Rap For You)

As you know, my wife is out of town. So I did this today. Happy Friday! Aida’s assaulted and attacked and angers Amneris Also Andrea Chenier agitates all Paris But Billy Budd’s bod by Benjamin Britten Is Bangin’ and Boomin’. Opera bug has bitten. Callas can clearly communicate Carmen And Cecilia’s Cosi is iconically charming […]

An Apology to My Wife For Something That Wasn’t My Fault

Some would say a Supermom is one who always stays at home Lunch maker and bedtime queen, or Homework helper. Bedroom cleaner. Never leaving them alone. Playdate hostess. Chaperone. Ever watching, ever there How else would they know you care? Others say that what you need is just to model and succeed. Big career and big […]


HYPOCHONDRIAC – a person who is abnormally anxious about their health. HYPOCHRONODRIAC – a person who is abnormally anxious about the passage of time. Don’t want to be a hypo-chrono-driac Hyper aware of the press of time upon my back Viewing each day not as a gift, but as more of an attack Only thinking of days […]