The Elderly Hooker

Last night I decided to take a walk. I headed down Broadway, past Lincoln Center and into Columbus Circle. That’s where I was propositioned by the old prostitute. Now, let me be fair here: I don’t KNOW that she was a hooker. All I know is that she was probably in her sixties, she wanted to have sex, and she was chasing me.

She approached me as I waited for the light to change. She asked me if I was from out of town. This was weird right away, because generally people ask if you ARE from somewhere, not NOT from somewhere. So I said no. She told me I looked like I was from out of town, and I again assured her that no, I was in fact living here (which is true), but I don’t think she believed me. I then thought maybe she was lost or confused, so, to prove I was not from NYC I guess, I asked her if she needed help. She said “Oh no, I just thought maybe you and I could, you know, get together.”. I don’t remember what I said next. Some stammering about having to leave to meet friends, and I took off. She followed me, saying things like “we could go back to my place,” and “we could both have a lot of fun.” As I ran, she followed, so I kept running until she was lost in the crowd behind me.

Now, as I see it, there are a few options for why this scenario occurred.

1) She was an elderly prostitute. Ick.

2) She was bait, so that once she got me to wherever she was going, two big guys would jump out and steal my wallet and/or kidneys.

3) She was a crazy lonely old lady out looking for a good time.

4) She was actually a beautiful young woman, cursed for her vanity, and trapped in the body of an old woman until she could seduce an out of towner in New York City. It could be like a tale from the brothers Grimm.

I don’t know what the moral of the story is, but it was freaky, and I was looking over my shoulder the rest of the night. And I am not helping any more little old ladies across the street.

Please follow and like us:

Comments

comments

Posted in Uncategorized.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *