Three 8 Second Videos That Prove I Live With a Crazy Person

People.  You do not understand what it is like.  It is crazy over here.  I spend all day, every day, with a crazy person.  You can not explain anything to this person, nor can you ever get this person to do what you want, because this person is two years old.  And crazy.

I know, I know, he’s just two.  It’s a phase.  He’ll grow out of it.  I will look back and laugh someday.  Except he is actually crazy.  I have proof.

EXHIBIT A:

His favorite thing to do is to hurl himself backwards down the stairs.  Seriously.  I mentioned to him that this might not be a good idea.  And did you watch the video?  Did you hear him say “ow” at the end of it?  And can you guess what he did as soon as I stopped filming?  That’s right, he went back up and did it again.  And again.  This is not the behavior of a rational being.

EXHIBIT B:

Do I even have to explain why this is crazy?  Well, what you did not see in the video was that, shortly after I stopped filming him, the boy (face completely covered) tried to ride down a homeless man pushing a shopping cart.  “AAAAARRRGGGHHH!” he shouted, laughing maniacally as he rode at top speed, right towards this poor guy.  What am I supposed to do in this situation?  Apologize and politely explain that I am raising a maniac?

EXHIBIT C:

So he has disappeared, and I just know that he is doing something naughty/hilarious.  You can tell by the way he is calling my name.  It says: I am doing something naughty that I find hilarious.  And yes, there are all the toys from the toy bin, scattered all over the floor.  And there he is, stuffed into said toy bin, cackling for all he is worth.  Man, he is one lucky kid to have that laugh.  Because, even though he is clearly insane, that laugh makes it all worth it.  Any time after 7 am anyway.