When I see you walking down the street there are some baseline assumptions that I am going to make about you based on my own experiences and what I have heard from others currently involved in the grand experiment called the human condition. I will assume that you do not enjoy pain. Therefore, I will not punch you or kick you as I go by. I will assume that you like a friendly smile. Not a creepy smile. A friendly smile. I might smile at you to improve your mood and brighten your day. These things I will assume.
What I cannot assume is your preference for so many of those middling things that fall upon a wider spectrum of human enjoyment. I will not guess, without asking, that you prefer chocolate ice cream over vanilla. I will not assume that you have seen my favorite movie, or that you watched the presidential debates. I would not presume to imagine that you love rainy days, or that you love sunny days. Everyone is different in these regards, and I really have no way of knowing the preferences of a stranger.
This brings me to my point. There are grayer areas still, where some people, perhaps some cultures, or even some generations, hold ideas to be self-evident that are not so self-evident to folks of different minds. What you think belongs in the first paragraph of this post may be in someone else’s second paragraph. For instance, how do you feel about the behavior of someone else’s children?
I was walking down the street today as my children tore ahead of me, racing to get home from school. As they went, they flew by some pedestrians. They did not crash into the pedestrians, nor did they come so close that a chance crashing could have occurred. But still, I wondered if it bothered those people. They did not look up. They did not look disturbed. And I myself really enjoy when kids are laughing and playing and having fun around me. I have, over the years, received many an apologetic eye from a parent whose child just ran over my foot, jostled my leg, or whooshed by me in the midst of some game. And I always smile, laugh, and tell them that it’s no problem. And I mean it. I wish more kids would be out playing and running and interacting with the world. It’s awesome. But maybe you don’t feel that way.
If you feel that my children, or anyone’s children, are in your space, or are too loud, or are too rambunctious, please tell me or the appropriate parent or guardian. Because I can’t assume to know how you feel about exuberance and play. I don’t know what the sound of children’s laughter does to your nervous system. It relaxes mine, but I am not you. So I am going to err on the side of letting my kids be as happy and free as I deem safe and tolerable. Scowl all you want. But if you haven’t let me know that it bothers you (in a polite way, hopefully), then really I had no way of knowing. Don’t assume what I should or should not know about you. Because I’m trying not to assume a lot of things about you.