An Open Letter to the Girl Behind Me on the Megabus

Dear Girl Behind Me on the Megabus,

I am very sorry for talking on the phone during our bus ride together. In my defense, this was my first Megabus trip and I was a little confused. I use my phone on the bus all the time, but those are shorter bus rides, with people getting on and off all the time. The Megabus is more like a train, where we are all trapped together for a long time. I hate when people have long conversations on the train, so again, I apologize.

Of course many other people on the bus made phone calls as well, but again I will grant you that I am louder than most people. It’s not my fault! It’s a combination of vocal training and genetics (blogs about my mother forthcoming). So I can see why I was singled out as the troublemaker.

Your comments were very helpful. First you let me know that you are a fellow Christian by shouting the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. You also told me how little interest anyone else had in my goddamned conversation. As I mentioned earlier, this was news to me, so thank you for cluing me in.

I would like to apologize for then raising the volume of my conversation after your very clear request for me to get the hell off of my phone. That was my bad.

In conclusion, I would just like to say that your mother would be very proud of how you handled yourself, and I certainly will not be using my phone on the bus again, except for maybe texting and/or beating you over the head.

Love, Tenordad

Posted in Megabus.


  1. Ahh genetics! Being loud is very useful sometimes. For instance, it comes in very handy if you are an auctioneer or even a bouncer. Personally it was effective in talking over noisy classrooms that needed to come to attention. In that case though,it was going from my usually booming voice to a whisper that got the students attention. I’m not sure that counts.
    You don’t have a prayer of ever being quiet, but at least you can whisper, which you well know I have never been able to master. I’ve always tried to look at the family curse of a booming voice that can be measured in decibels as both a blessing and a curse. However, after living with it for 50+ years, I know have come to the conclusion that it tends to be more of a curse. But being an optimist, I keep looking for the blessings.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.