Dear Girl Behind Me on the Megabus,
I am very sorry for talking on the phone during our bus ride together. In my defense, this was my first Megabus trip and I was a little confused. I use my phone on the bus all the time, but those are shorter bus rides, with people getting on and off all the time. The Megabus is more like a train, where we are all trapped together for a long time. I hate when people have long conversations on the train, so again, I apologize.
Of course many other people on the bus made phone calls as well, but again I will grant you that I am louder than most people. It’s not my fault! It’s a combination of vocal training and genetics (blogs about my mother forthcoming). So I can see why I was singled out as the troublemaker.
Your comments were very helpful. First you let me know that you are a fellow Christian by shouting the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. You also told me how little interest anyone else had in my goddamned conversation. As I mentioned earlier, this was news to me, so thank you for cluing me in.
I would like to apologize for then raising the volume of my conversation after your very clear request for me to get the hell off of my phone. That was my bad.
In conclusion, I would just like to say that your mother would be very proud of how you handled yourself, and I certainly will not be using my phone on the bus again, except for maybe texting and/or beating you over the head.