I was at a Halloween party the other night, and one of my friends brought with her to the party a guy who had taped 50 different color samples onto his shirt, such as you might find at a paint store. All of these samples were different variations on the color grey, and though most people didn’t get it at first, everybody was quite amused when he revealed to them that he was dressed as “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the weird Twilight fan-fiction adult soft-core porn fiction novel that I have not read, but have heard a lot about.
This reminded me of the year that my wife and I were going to a party and went to the CVS to get our costumes. She bought 20 matchboxes and taped them to her shirt, and I bought an eye patch and wore it on my forehead. We showed up at the party as “Third Eye Blind” and “Matchbox 20,” which would have been very clever if anybody at the party had been under fifty and had ever heard of those two bands.
Then I thought, what if you can’t decide what to be for Halloween this year? Why should you have to choose between being an adult sex novel, or a popular band? You shouldn’t! Therefore, I have compiled a list of bands whose names could easily pass as titles of erotic fiction books, so when somebody asks you what you are, you can choose whether or not to be naughty, musical, or, like all good musicians, both.
15) Boys Like Girls
14) Finger Eleven
13) Spanky and Our Gang
12) Lady Gaga
11) John Fred and His Playboy Band
10) Jack Johnson
9) Five Shades of Maroon
8) Pink
7) The Beach Boys
6) Björk
5) The Flaming Lips
4) Barenaked Ladies
3) Michael Bublé
2) Three Doors Down
1) Florence and the Machine