“You’re a good Dad,” my wife texted yesterday, in response to my complaints. “Thanks,” I replied, “but I would like to go back to actually being a Dad, and not an evil pirate.” It all started a year, month, week or so ago, when I was trying to get Edward to eat his dinner. Edward does […]
Category Archives: Edward
Blood and Gatorade
I try very hard not to use this space to complain about bad days. It is tempting, of course, to whine about all sorts of things when one has a bit of a public forum, but I find it much more enjoyable to tell stories that are funny or silly, and only rant about things […]
Childhood Amnesia
I have always been amazed by my daughter’s ability to remember stories and details from events that I can barely recall myself. I find myself saying “Oh yeahhhhh…” on a regular basis when she reminds me about a party that we went to three years ago, and what shirt I was wearing to it. But […]
Anna, Elsa, Ariel, and Me
The Frozen soundtrack is currently running on an infinitely repeating loop at my house. And also in my car. And in those rare moments when, for some reason or another, we cannot hear the soundtrack (such as travelling between the house and the car), my daughter can be heard singing it boisterously at the top of […]
I’ve Always Hated Yogurt
I’ve always hated yogurt.I’ve a million reasons why.The way it burns my tongueAnd tastes like poisonberry pie. The thought of weird bacteriaCollecting in my mouth,Is all I need to stop the stuffFrom heading gastrically south. It even sounds disgusting,As I blurt out words like “spurt.”No, all of it is terrible.Won’t even taste a squirt. The […]
It Was the Best of Kids, It Was the Worst of Kids
He wanted to play outside, so I decided to bring my lunch down to the courtyard and watch him run around while I ate my food in the chilly winter air. I had gotten a lovely sandwich from the deli on the corner, along with some Cheetos that I was determined to keep a secret […]
My Daughter Acts Out the Only Scene From “Frozen” Without a Princess In It
There have been several videos out there lately that feature cute kids singing princess songs from the hit animated movie “Frozen,” and it doesn’t seem like the internet really needs another one. Luckily my kids are not interested in the princessy parts (not true: they are interested in all the parts). Ruby’s favorite song from […]
The Bubba Fairy
When Ruby was two and addicted to pacifiers, or “Binkies” as she called them, we informed her that the Binky Fairy was going to be coming to take all of them away one night, but that the Binky Fairy would be leaving her an exciting present. “Now Tenor Dad,” I can hear you saying, “are […]
WHALE TAILS!
We have a tradition in our car. Whenever we drive by a certain hillside on a certain section of highway between Williston and South Burlington, the driver will shout out “WHALE TAILS!” and then everyone else in the car will echo back. “WHALE TAILS!” We have done this for as long as I can remember, […]
Bear Does Christmas
When my wife and I woke up on Christmas morning, we were, umm, we were… huh. What is the word for when something is so incredibly cute that you just can’t stand it, and you are making the sad puppy dog face and saying “awwwww,” but in an extremely good way? Anyway, there were some […]