It all started with another one of Edward’s scams. We were at the grocery store, and there was a machine that dispensed toys for the paltry price of two quarters. I did not have two quarters, and Edward and I were having words about it. Things were especially bad because there was another little boy […]
Category Archives: Edward
Shut the Howl Up
They grit their teeth and bear it for the first few seconds, like most people, but when it doesn’t stop they finally realize they have to say something. Aren’t they in charge after all? “Edward! Please stop making that noise!” Their pleas fall on deaf ears. At least I assume all the ears in the […]
Twelve Adventures: #2 – Lake Placid Olympic Sports Complex
When 2015 rolled into 2016 almost 40 days ago, my family made the decision that this was going to be the year for adventuring. We have committed to having 12 epic adventures, which boils down to one a month. Now, we could skip one month and double up on another, but that can get dangerous. […]
100 Reasons I Am a Terrible Parent
15 minutes after they had all left for school I got the text from my wife. We had forgotten his project. Not forgotten it at home. We had completely forgotten to do it at all. Despite the constant reminders, the e-mails, the notes home, the newsletters, and the personal reminder from the teacher the day […]
The Color of Han Solo’s Light Saber
I was alone inside, vacuuming the stairs, when I heard the front door fly open and slam against the wall. Ah. My son was coming inside. He thumped up the stairs very quickly and ran past me, his boots still on and dropping dirt and sticks onto my freshly cleaned carpet, out of sight and […]
The Lies We Tell Our Children About Adulthood
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Being a grown-up was supposed to be awesome! All of that freedom and power and control. We were going to get to do whatever we wanted! But unfortunately, with great power, comes great responsibility. Having the freedom to make our own decisions comes with the knowledge that our […]
Grade Schoolers Assemble!
“No, I’m not excited about it; it’s stupid,” she said as she unpacked her backpack. This was a fair point. As a veteran of many, many school-wide assemblies I can say with some certainty that the likelihood of it being very boring was quite high. The flyer the school had sent home about it, however, […]
On Sundays We Dream of Fire: Conversations With a Kindergartener
As a stay-at-home-dad, no one can accuse me of not spending enough time with my kids, but this weekend, with my wife out of town, I got an extra helping of “quality time.” This meant more bickering, more whining, more frustration, and more exhaustion, but it also meant more opportunities for deep and meaningful conversations […]
Dancing Through Angels
I was in a hurry. I was on my way to school. I was late. Pick up was in a few short minutes and I had been delayed when the dog suddenly decided to need a pee break at an unexpected time, so I was jogging through the cold winter air, trying to beat the […]
Who Should You Blame When Your DNA is Faulty?
It is not an easy thing, getting genetic testing done on your DNA. For one thing it is very expensive, and insurance companies don’t always like to pay for it. And by “very expensive” I mean “more than I have made in the past decade.” So you don’t want to just have it done without […]